


Stories from East Portlemouth Prep - Year One

by aforgetfulgirl, hangonsilvergirl, vixx (orphan_account)



Series: The Order of Weed [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, MWPP Era, Marauders, Multi, Swearing, no magic, smoking weed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-07
Updated: 2014-07-07
Packaged: 2018-02-07 20:04:44
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 27,108
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1912008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aforgetfulgirl/pseuds/aforgetfulgirl, https://archiveofourown.org/users/hangonsilvergirl/pseuds/hangonsilvergirl, https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/vixx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A magic-less AU featuring the Marauders as prep school students in the modern day, involved in an underground activist organization that fights against the megalomaniac Tom Riddle, a fashion designer with questionable business practices.</p><p>If it sounds ridiculous, it's because it is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Moving In (September 1st, 2002)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where James and Sirius meet Remus, his suitcase and his corduroy pants.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FYI: This story was originally posted on a Livejournal between 2005 & 2008\. I am posting it here mostly so that it doesn't get eaten. I am copying it word for word, no edits. It is not particularly accurate for Briticisms and etc., and is nonsensical in some cases, but we loved it to pieces. Please don't take it seriously, it's honestly a gaff that got out of hand. For three years. :D

Sirius Black stood in front of the gate to the school, looking up with distaste evident on his face. It wasn't because he wasn't looking forward to four years at East Portlemouth... well, yes, that was pretty much it.

Two suitcases and a box of plant growth sat next to him on the dirtroad by his parent's car. They had come across on the ferry for a "family trip" or something of the like, some gala send off for finally getting Sirius out of the house.

"Excited yet?" His younger brother Reggie asked from his left.

Sirius turned his head. He loved his brother, really did, but sometimes... sometimes Reg was a bit dim when it came to the obvious. Particularly the look on Sirius' face. Reggie's smile didn't even falter.

"Not really." He said, he supposed glumly.

"You'll have a good year dear, I'm sure. James will be with you after all, and you two have been friends since you were in nappies." Sirius mother had a piercing voice that, if you weren't used to it, quite literally rubbed you raw. She tried to be compassionate, Sirius knew, but the woman was the opposite, and her distaste for much of what Sirius did was usually brought into every conversation.

"And look at the bright side," she continued. Sirius was sure this was it. "No youth group, right?"

She never gave up. "No Mum," Sirius mumbled.

His father could sense trouble at this point. "All right, well, you have a good term then! Come visit on the weekends away and we'll see you at Christmas, eh? Keep your grades up and all that. Come along Agatha."

With a quick forced hug from his parents and a warm, happy one from his brother, they piled into their car and drove off, leaving Sirius, his suitcases, and his plant growth quite alone.

A car pulled up right next to Sirius and even before it came to a full stop, James Potter flung the door open and got a running start at a flying tackle that brought both him and Sirius skidding painfully across the paved driveway.

"Mate! We are going to have such a wicked year, you have no _idea_ ," James shouted laughingly.

"James! You ridiculous boy, are you trying to kill him? Sorry, Sirius, we let him have dessert after lunch and you know what sugar does to him," James' mother called out the open window, her voice warm with affection.

James squinted up at his mother and rolled his eyes. " _Mum_."

Sirius had been contemplating how to carry his luggage to the top level on his own when his train of thought derailed and shouts of 'PAIN PAIN, OH GOD' echoed in his head.

"Geroff mate," he said, giving James a great heave, and hearing a distinct crack in his wrist. Throbbing. Great. That would make the suitcase carrying an even more thrilling exercise.

"Quite all right Mrs. Potter," Sirius said, standing and dusting himself off. "It's not your fault that James has ADHD." He grinned stupidly at James and added, "Wanker," under his breath.

James grinned unabashedly and poked at a large spot on his leg where much of the skin had been scraped off. "Don't be a girl, mate. That's how real boys do it. Look, so do you know where our room is yet? No you don't, you just got here too, didn't you? Of course you did, you've still got your suitcases. Oh, suitcases. Dad, pop the boot, will you?"

James got to his feet and jogged around to back of the car, tugging out his own things, one very large suitcase, a backpack, and a duffel bag.

"Top, I think though. Dad asked before they drove off." Sirius had a habit of not referring to his mother as an individual person, but merely as an extension of his father that wore horrible clothes.

"Top, eh? Hope so. Wonder who'll have the other room up there," James answered. The two of them had gone on a tour at the end of the last school year and there were only two rooms on the topmost floor. Sure, they had to climb the most stairs, but the view was amazing. Plus, they'd discovered during the short time they'd been at the school, they could climb onto the roof from the windows of both rooms.

"Thanks Mum, thanks Dad. Look, you can head off then," James said coolly.

"Oh no you don't, young man," his mother said, getting out of the car. James ducked fearfully behind Sirius as his mother swooped towards him. She pulled him into a tight hug and kissed him loudly on the forehead.

"Eurgh," James said.

"Oh, and Sirius, take care of our little Jamie, will you? You're a dear," Mrs. Potter said with a smile damn near mischievous. 

"Keep in touch son," his father replied, patting his shoulder. James stared at them both with a look of abject horror as they climbed into the car and drove away.

"Okay, question prat. My parents are gone, as are yours. How're we getting the suitcases and my plant things upstairs without killing ourselves?" Sirius had watched the Potter's leave with his own look of abject horror, a look which usually resulted in being forcefed one of Mrs. Potter's "Imodium cookies".

James shrugged. "Who knows? We're strong young men, we can do it! Err, how's about we ditch half behind that tree over there and take it in two runs, huh?" James suggested. 

Sirius shrugged. "I suppose so," he said. "We have to go to the office I believe, get our keys and whatnot. I kind of want to get my plant food here out of the way, if you get my drift." He eyed the box nervously. He was uncertain as to whether or not such a school did kit checks. He could honestly say he would prefer that the box stay closed.

James' smile turned wicked. "Oy, mate, is that what I think it is? You brought it with you? In the car _with your parents_? Brave soul. Brave, brave soul. You know, you ask for it sometimes, mate. Look, so you stay here with our stuff and I'll go get our keys."

"They think it's a cactus, all right? Dad thinks I've got the makings of a Herbologist or some bollocks. I don't know. Just hurry up." With that he plopped himself down on the ground.

"Lazy sod. Okay, I'm going," James said and took off to the office.

It took a lot of cajoling and a bit of charm before James finally got both his and Sirius' keys for the room. From there, it was twenty minutes of grunting, groaning, complaining, and cussing before they were both in their new room with all of their own belongings. James collapsed, sweaty and exhausted, onto the nearest bed.

"I claim this one," James said, waving an arm in Sirius' direction.

"Lovely," Sirius replied, equally exhausted, and passed out onto the bed nearest to himself. "This is charmingly uncomfortable." He commented. It felt as though he were lying on a bag of rocks.

"Mine is quite cozy. You can't have it," James said lazily. "Look, so, want to go get something cold and high in caffeine from the Coke machine two floors down?"

"Two floors? Aw, fuck. Even rock bed here is more appealing." Sirius attempted to hoist himself upward but failed spectacularly. "Buggerfuck."

"Oh come on," James said, getting a bit of a second wind and getting to his feet, jumping onto Sirius' bed and punching his friend in the arm repeatedly. "I'll race you."

"You already broke my wrist, you ass. All right, all right I'm getting up!" He sat upward and gave James a shove so that he fell on the floor. "Head start!" He said with a grin, and tore out the door.

"Cheater!" James hollered and took off after him, launching himself out the doorway and slamming it shut behind him. Halfway down the first flight of stairs, he caught up with Sirius. Going around the corner onto the second flight of stairs, the two of them collided with something that had all sorts of hard corners and boy shaped grunts of pain.

"Nngack," James moaned.

"I-I'm terribly sorry. I was -oh god I think my ribs are broken- I was just taking my things up to my room. Sorry, sorry, oh I think I just put my hand somewhere inappropriate. I'm just trying to get up, sorry," the aforementioned boy shape said. Once he pulled himself awkwardly to his feet he tried to help Sirius up from underneath his worn suitcase. One of the wheels was squeaking as it spun listlessly.

"I'm Remus, Remus Lupin. And also terribly, terribly sorry," he apologized again.

"This is most certainly not a caffeinated beverage James Potter! You promise lies! My ribs are also broken! Ugh!" Sirius allowed the one called Remus to help him to his feet and nearly fell over again due to uncomfortably sharp pains in his sides.

"No-ow, fuck-no need to be sorry mate, it's all James fault of course," he gestured to the silent wobbling lump that was James and brushed the dust off of his pants. "I'm Sirius by the way. Sirius Black. And I'm sure that under less painful circumstances this wouldn't have sucked so fucking much."

"Nngack," James added from the floor. "Nngaaaaack."

Remus watched with sick fascination as the boy he assumed was James Potter struggled to his feet. "Are you all right?" he asked politely, though he was quite certain he knew the answer.

Sirius rubbed the back of his neck with his hand and glanced at James who was moaning in agony and clutching questionable body parts. "He'll be fine," he muttered, taking the time to look up and survey the boy they'd mowed over. "He's taken worse spills than that."

Remus was, to some degree, Sirius' complete opposite. The only thing they seemed to have in common was hair length, as Remus' ginger shaded locks just about hit his shoulders. This was an odd contrast to the tweed sweater he appeared to be wearing, along with brown corduroys. Sirius almost laughed.

The other boy was thin and nervous looking, and had a bookish air about him that was literally screaming 'LIBRARY!' in Sirius' ear. "You're not from Salcombe, are you?"

"Salcombe? Me? No. I'm from Shady Lane. I mean, well, Shady Lane in Stoke Fleming. Just, ah, north east of here really. I, you, are you from Salcombe? That's near here, right? I read about it because, well, East Portlemouth itself is really a rather small town, isn't it," Remus rambled, tucking his hair behind his ears and picking idly at his fingernails.

This boy, Sirius, was very intimidating. He was everything Remus wasn't. It made Remus feel, well, inadequate and... scrutinized.

"James and I are from Salcombe," Sirius replied, watching Remus' actions with a cross between amusement and confusion. "Grew up there. Your parents must be loaded, eh? Shipping you all the way here from Stoke Fleming."

Sirius was rarely conscious of what he said.

Remus flushed darkly. "Ah. No. No, I'm on scholarship. I came by train, actually, they couldn't take time off work you know. But, you know, it's not..." he trailed off. "It seems like a great school," Remus changed the subject. "Have you seen the library? It's amazing. I wonder why such a school is in a town like East Portlemouth. Perhaps it's good to have it in the country, though. I like trees." _I like trees? Shut up, brain._

James gathered his wits and said, "Your suitcase tried to skewer me. I am not dinner. I don't even _like_ shishkabob."

"No James, you are pork. Just plain old lumpy pork. And you know why? Because Evans dislikes it. That's why. Honestly." Sirius shook his head and turned back to Remus.

"Trees, eh?" Remus was weird. There was no doubt about that. "Well, there's no lack of them here. Er, well, I suppose you and I ought to get going, James. Yes? Dreadfully sorry about the tripping and smashing and skewering and such. Better luck next time you're walking up the stairs."

"Oh you abuse my poor, battered heart with your talk of Pork and Evans!" James wailed, following behind Sirius as they clambered over Remus' still fallen suitcase to continue their quest for caffeinated sugar drinks.

As Remus watched them go, he couldn't help but wonder at their easy cool. "I like trees? Honestly, Remus," he muttered to himself and began continuing up the stairs. "Stupid."


	2. Orientation (September 2nd, 2002)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Sirius shows off his bulge, Albus likes kitties, and it's nothing but tough noogies for James Potter.

Lily tossed her hair over her shoulder with a flip of her hand and crossed her legs. She was promptly on time for Orientation (of course) as was her roommate Alice and the two girls next-door, Emmeline and Hestia. The four girls had struck up a friendship right off the bat, and had giggled, chatted, and rated the boys they'd seen about far into the wee hours of the morning. The four were certainly tired, given they had gone to bed at three only to get up again for seven, but all looked presentable, alert, and continued to rate the boys as they came into the room. The close quarters proved much more designed for their list of credentials.

"Bulge?" Hestia asked, craning her neck to get a good look around. "Not that I'm expecting too much of fourteen-year-olds, of course," she added, and winked at Alice.

Alice snorted. "You're horrible."

Lily watched two dark haired boys come through the main doors, walking up the corridor, looking for a seat. She quirked an eyebrow. "That boy there," she said, nudging Hestia in the ribs. "The one without the glasses. I'll bet he wears his pants that tight on purpose. They look about four sizes to small."

Following Lily's gaze, Hestia grinned. "Oh that's James and Sirius. I've played footie with them for years."

Alarm bells suddenly went off in Lily's head, and she scowled. "Fuck," she said darkly.

Hestia, Emmeline and Alice exchanged confused glances, but neither asked Lily what exactly it was about 'James and Sirius' that had caused her to react so scathingly.

They were certain they'd find out in due course.

James spotted two chairs and promptly jumped over the backs of them to claim them just before Narcissa, Sirius' cousin, could sit down. He grinned cheekily at her and shooed her away as he waited for Sirius to climb up next to him. He looked around the room at the people next coming and going. Most everyone was here already (James and Sirius had cut it quite close to being late, after all) and suddenly he spotted red hair one row up and a few seats down the aisle.

James recognized Lily immediately. He paled a bit, but then smiled and got up, walking to the boys sitting behind her.

"Can you move down two spots? I'd like to sit here," he said to the boy in the cardigan, hardly paying him any attention at all. He was familiar to James and he suddenly remembered him from the day before. He'd had an unfortunate run in with him and his suitcase in the hallway. He had a wicked bruise on his thigh from it.

"Oh. Certainly, okay. Sure," Remus said quickly, gesturing to his roommate Peter to slide down a few chairs so James could sit closer to Lily.

Sirius followed, glancing around haughtily with a practiced grin that was effectively making the birds that didn't know him swoon. His trousers were somewhat uncomfortably tight (on purpose, of course) and he moved past James awkwardly, pulling down his trouser legs so the arse of his pants wouldn't ride up his... well. Arse.

He barely gave the boy sitting to his left a passing glance, although he was certain that Brown Cardigan was looking at _him_. Instead he noticed Hestia, and tugged playfully on her hair.

"Howdy Brown-Eyes," he said, smiling wryly. "Gonna introduce two charming lads to your three equally charming mates?"

"Shut up, Sirius," James said quickly, grinning at the redhead who looked less than pleased to see him. He didn't care. She was going to East Portlemouth. He'd have _four years_ to convince her to like him! He practically bounced in his seat, elbowing Sirius and nodding in Lily's direction. "That's Lily. Remember her? Lily, James. Remember me?"

Remus watched curiously from his seat next to Sirius, first taking in his tight trousers and bright smile before listening in on the conversation around him. He thought the other boy -- James -- looked too full of energy to be indoors, but he was bouncing in his seat and staring hungrily as he spoke and Remus was curious. They seemed so... enigmatic.

Lily rolled her eyes. "One doesn't forget _James Potter and Sirius Black_ too easily," Lily said. "Disappointingly," she added.

Sirius stuck out his tongue. "It's been nearly four years _Lily Evans_ ," he said. "Surely you've gotten the pellets out of your hair by now?"

"This plonker is Sirius," James said to the other two girls he didn't know, trying to use a charming grin to override Sirius' attempt to bring up the goat fiasco. This was a new beginning. He had a chance, at least, if she remembered him. "And I'm James. Obviously. You might've heard of us. Anyway, Lily. What're you doing here? It's great to see you again, you know."

"Going to school, obviously. Did the uniform not give it away?" she asked sarcastically, still bitter against James for having the nerve to kiss her after setting a goat to chase her. No tact, whatsoever, and it certainly didn't matter that they'd both been eleven at the time. She could tell by the way he was bouncing that he was still the same ADD case he had been back then. "And I wish I could say the same about you. Have you taken your Ritalin today?"

"Hey, come on now," James protested, frowning as the blonde girl sitting next to Lily covered her mouth and giggled into her hand. "We were eleven. You can't still be mad about the goat thing."

"Can't I?" Lily asked rhetorically, and turned around, determinedly staring at the podium, where a tall man in surf shorts and flip-flops was standing.

Sirius started laughing. "I'm pretty sure you've struck out again," he said.

"Shut up," James grumbled, shoving Sirius into the cardigan-clad fellow they'd traded seats with. James ignored the man waiting for their attention and leaned forward, whispering, "Let me make it up to you then. First Salcombe weekend? I'll take you out anywhere you want. You can be as mean as you like and then we'll call it even?"

Remus almost laughed as he heard James' voice, not quiet enough as the other students began to stop talking. Only the knowledge that the Headmaster was waiting kept him silent and he cast his eyes towards the podium.

Lily ignored James, outright. As though she'd ever end up with the likes of him!

Albus Dumbledore scratched his bearded chin, and then cleared his throat. The idle chatter continued, despite this, and with a roll of his eyes, Albus leaned into the microphone and said, "Yo! Up here!"

James scooted his chair a little closer to Lily, leaning his arms on the back of her chair. "Come on, Lily. Say yes. It'll be fun, I promise. I'm really a pretty okay bloke."

"Mr. Potter, judging by the expression on Miss Evans' face, I'd suggest you push your chair back where it was, and pay attention," Albus said, raising his eyebrows and smiling slightly. "I've ages to talk, you see, but as I'm sure everyone in this room including yourself would like to eat today, perhaps it's best to save you wooing for a more sociable hour."

James blushed and pushed his chair back, ignoring the laughter of those around him. He smiled up at the Headmaster and said, "Yes, sir. Woo later. Gotcha."

Beside James, Sirius chuckled. He liked the Headmaster already.

Albus cleared his throat again. "For those of you who don't know me, which really shouldn't be anyone given I met you all on tour last year, I'm Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of East Portlemouth Prep. I would first and foremost like to congratulate you all on your acceptance to this 'prestigious' institution; you are the best of your middle-school classes." Albus allowed this information to sink in before continuing. "Secondly, and bluntly perhaps, don't allow yourselves to become cocky, arrogant or self-concerned. East Portlemouth prides itself on being a school of teamwork and friendship, and I would hope it should remain that way for the rest of its existence."

Sirius scoffed slightly. He knew why he was there, and it was money, money, money; nothing to do with his brains or excessive amounts thereof. It wasn't something that EPP advertised in its pamphlets either, slogans like, "Send Your Failure Child to East Portlemouth!" It was a long, LONG line of family tradition. The Black name was practically currency.

"Hear that, mate? Not allowed to be cocky _or_ arrogant. Guess you're out, then," James snickered. "Shame, I'll just have to have the room to myself."

Sirius punched James in the arm, accompanied by a, "Shut the hell up."

Albus continued, ignoring James and Sirius for the time being. "Fighting is not well tolerated. Neither are sexual relations, pregnancy, alcohol and drugs. In accordance with school board regulations, we adhere to a Zero Tolerance policy. In addition to this, anyone caught outside of school grounds without parental consent, or on school related trips, will be suspended."

"Doomed," Sirius muttered. "The only thing impossible for me is the getting knocked-up."

"It only means we can't get caught, mate," James replied, lifting his feet to rest them against the back of Lily's chair, shaking one leg absently as he waited for the Headmaster to finish his speech. "God, I'm starving."

Lily turned around, glared, then turned back again.

"I could be wrong," Sirius said, pointing at James' foot, "but I don't think she likes that. Not even in a playful way."

James dropped his feet and said just loud enough for her to hear, "Well, guess I'll stop then. Anything for Lily."

"You'll find during your stay here that your Professors are the no-nonsense type. They will not take well to impertinent behaviour, refusal to do work, and etc. If such things take place in their classes, rest assured that you will be paying me a visit," Albus said. Most of the students in the room had stopped listening to him at this point. "That aside," he continued, "I'd like to comment that I love kitties. I like to put bows on them, you know, bright pink ones. I also enjoy pudding. Pudding is quite lovely. I have a cat named Fawkes. He's orange. He has a yellow collar, as he can't wear ribbon, as he eats it. Then chokes. I find this displeasing. Is anyone actually listening to me?"

Remus smiled and couldn't help but think the 'anything' that the Lily girl wanted was probably just to be left alone. He wasn't sure why, James seemed nice enough to him, but Lily wasn't exactly being encouraging. As the Headmaster's words registered, Remus stared up at him in shock. Kitties? What?

"Sir, I think people might be more inclined to pay attention if they weren't so distracted by their hunger," James suggested loudly. "Just trying to be helpful, of course."

In mock ponder, Albus said, "Is that so Mr. Potter? You feel as though you'd be more 'inclined' to listen to my speech if your stomach was full?"

"Yes sir, I do," James said, grinning brightly and slouching casually in his seat.

"Tough noogies for you then," Albus concluded, "As I've no desire to stop speaking, even if you're dying of starvation. Now, as I was saying, there are several banned objects from the school, which include a variation of gadgets; yo-yos, Frisbees, and the like. You'll find the complete list taped to the outside of the janitor's room. Mr. Filch has informed me that he's added sixty more products this year alone."

Lily ran a hand through her hair and leaned over to Hestia. "With a list that long, it's likely we're not allowed shoes."

Hestia giggled, and whispered back, "Clothes, perhaps."

Sirius leaned up between them. "Oh, I do hope so," he said, smiling widely.

Lily and Hestia muffled their laughter. For some reason, everything seemed funnier when you weren't supposed to be laughing.

James glowered at Sirius, annoyed that he'd made Lily laugh. As soon as his friend leaned back, he punched Sirius in the shoulder for it.

"They laugh when you tell them you want to see them starkers, yet all I get is, 'Have you taken your Ritalin today?' Not fair," James complained.

"You're just jealous because I'm suave and you're awkward," Sirius replied, if a little loudly.

"And I'm rather impressed that you're able to sit comfortably in those trousers, Mr. Black," Albus interjected indifferently. "Any tighter and it would be Miss Evans and Miss Jones who would undoubtedly be seeing _you_ 'starkers', as it were."

Sirius decided that the Headmaster must have super-hearing or something. Smile unfailing, he replied, "I just like to give the people what they want, Sir."

"Careful. Cocky and arrogant, remember? No-no," James reminded, snickering.

Albus smiled in return. "Perhaps it is what they want, Mr. Black," he said, "but I've no doubt that, if your trousers were any tighter, they would most certainly compromise your ability to produce offspring."

"Not that it matters though, Sir," Lily added with snigger, "Seeing as _Mr. Black_ is prohibited from shagging."

"Lily!" Alice gasped delightedly at Lily's daring, giggling under her breath.

James' stomach rumbled loudly, and Remus couldn't help but smile as the other boy moaned dramatically and clutched at his belly. Remus had been allowed to eat early. He had to; else his blood sugar levels would be off.

"Indeed he is, Miss Evans," Albus agreed. "Let us hope that his outrageously tight trousers will aid in restraining him. In the meantime, I've only one more comment to offer you all. Then I'll take any questions you might have, _then_ I'll allow you to go pig out to your hearts content." He paused. "East Portlemouth Prep will be your home for the next four years of your lives. Enjoy it. Love it. Embrace it. Hate it if you must, but keep it on the down low." He winked. "This school will help to prepare you for adulthood. I wish you the best of luck. Now. Any questions?"

"Will you go out with me, Lily Evans?" James piped up cheekily, earning a smattering of laughter from the other students.

"Questions that involve East Portlemouth, per chance?" Albus asked, restraining a smile.

Lily turned around, facing James with a cheerful, toothy grin. "You know what, James Potter?" she started sweetly, "I've thought it over, and I believe I've been a bit harsh. I should probably apologize and go out with you, shouldn't I?"

Sirius didn't have a split second to stop James from walking into a trap before his mate responded.

"Yes. You should. Really should. In fact, your willingness to admit it has me forgiving you already," James replied, leaning forward and bouncing in his chair again.

Lily's smile never wavered. "I do believe you're right, James. I can't begin to fathom why I've been so blind all these years; ignorant of your charms, fixated on goats. I'm a horrid person really, and I should be ashamed of myself."

"Er, well, I'd like to think so, but oddly enough I have a feeling I'm being had," James said, his face taking on a wincing quality in advance.

"Well noted," Lily said, frowning. "As I wouldn't go out with you, James, if you were the last boy on earth and we had to repopulate to save humanity."

"Oh," James said softly, leaning back in his chair and looking past Lily up to the Headmaster. "In that case, no, sir, no further questions."

Lily turned back around, satisfied that she had made herself clear to James Potter once and for all.

Albus swallowed, ill at ease, and then said, "Right, well. Go eat!"

James was first up, pushing past the others in his row as he headed for the cafeteria. He turned to see Sirius a few steps behind him and hung back, grumbling as his mate caught up, "I'm fucking starving. I hope the food here is good."

Putting a hand on his friend's shoulder, Sirius said, "I'm sure it's fine. And I'm sure that, you know. She didn't quite mean that."

"Ha, like I care," James said, too loudly, shaking off Sirius' hand. "She'll change her mind eventually."

"Right, right," Sirius said. "Right."

Walking with Alice a little bit behind Sirius and James, Lily couldn't help but wonder if perhaps she'd been a bit of a bitch. She watched James sadly for a moment, then turned her attention back to whatever it was Alice was talking about.

"W-wow," Peter whispered reverently as he watched the vocal group of boys and girls disappear. "They were cool, weren't they? Did you hear how they spoke to the teachers?"

"Yes, I heard," Remus answered his roommate simply, getting to his feet. He couldn't help but wonder what it'd be like growing up with people like that. They were so different from any of the kids Remus had gone to school with. They were the sort of people that made the Remuses and Peters of the world the butt of the jokes, Remus thought, except they seemed much more good-natured. He thought that maybe things would be different at East Portlemouth. At the very least, it would be an adventure.

"Come on, Peter. Let's go get a bit of breakfast."


	3. Adopting Remus (September 6th, 2002)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Sirius is an prat, James whoops and Remus is most certainly not doing his homework.

James and Sirius, two best friends, relaxed on the roof outside of their room. It wasn't a very large space, but it was flat enough and from that height practically all they could see was sky. It was a good place, they decided, to get high. And so, on the very first weekend of school, they did.

James took another deep drag, exploding into laughter as he exhaled that quickly turned into a coughing fit. He began laughing again as soon as he could breathe.

"This, my friend, is the life," James said as he passed the joint to Sirius. "I'm so fucking glad we got the top. How do you suppose we swung it, us meaningless first years? Heard rumours, maybe, wanted us out of the way. What do you reckon?"

Sirius laughed coolly and knowingly, blowing smoke into the oddly crisp air. He wondered, vaguely where the summer had gone. It was still summer, of course, yet the weather was distinctly autumn. "It's this little thing," he started slowly, turning to face James, "called my father."

"Your family is practically fucking royalty around here. I love it," James chuckled, shooting a wild-eyed look at Sirius. He whooped loudly for no apparent reason before taking the joint back from Sirius and breathing in deeply.

Remus Lupin heard the noise. He got up from his desk and walked over to his open window, looking out at the two boys lying there, the same two who had bowled him over only a few short days ago. He smelled a familiar sweetness on the air and noticed the small cylinder between James Potter's lips. He was so busy watching Sirius lay there with his eyes closed that he surprised himself by saying, "You're going to fall and kill yourself."

James began choking for an entirely different reason. "God damn it, you scared the shit out of me!" He lowered the hand holding the joint to his side, hiding it from Remus' view.

"What're you playing at mate?" Sirius quipped, jumping as well and nearly doing exactly what Remus had just warned him about. "Holy shit!" He exclaimed, clambering upward again and looked at Remus with a sort of dignified incredulousness. "What do you want?"

Remus lurched as Sirius nearly fell, almost making to reach a hand out and steady him. Sirius steadied himself, though, and Remus put his hand on the windowsill instead. At Sirius' blunt question, Remus flushed a little. What did he want?

"Nothing. I just heard the noise, I was going to come close the window. Then I, well, I didn't mean to say anything. Sorry. I'll go. You're busy doing... ah. That."

"Not so innocent as he looks," Sirius said with a smirk, exchanging a look with James. "You know what it is then? You don't really seem like the type to recognize it really. Read about it in a book somewhere?" Due to the fact that he was thoughtless and usually said the first thing that came to his mind, Sirius had a habit of stuffing his foot so far down his throat he burned holes in his socks with stomach acid.

Remus blinked in shock for a moment before feeling a bit of an indignant anger flare up in him. "Yes. I've read about it. However, I recognized the smell. It isn't as though I haven't done it before," he replied. He had, twice. Both times with his father, but he wasn't about to tell them that.

"Ooh," James mocked good-naturedly, his voice low and teasing though his smile was friendly.

Sirius raised an eyebrow. " _You've_ smoked up before? No offence - what was it? Rufus? - but that's a bit difficult to believe."

"My name is Remus, not Rufus, and no offence taken. I don't think it really matters if you believe me or not, to be honest," he said, his voice a little clipped and his cheeks getting redder by the second. He hated always being the geek, the nerd, the loser. And he always was, but this was one thing, at least, that he could honestly say that he'd done.

"Er, ok?" Sirius said, taken aback. "Do you want a draw then?"

Remus blinked and stared, mouth agape. He was being invited to get high with the, well, cool boys. Instantly, Remus bawked. "I. What? Oh, I couldn't. No. I have... homework." He flinched, painfully aware that it was the weekend. "Thanks, though."

James rolled his eyes. Sirius had invited him and the kid was saying no? "Come on, sharing is caring."

"Homework?" Sirius laughed. "It's Friday, mate. Surely this is more fun than a maths assignment."

Remus looked around uncertainly. Peter, the boy he shared his room with, was still out. What harm could it do, really? Aside from falling off the roof and dying, of course. "Okay," Remus said and hoisted himself up onto the windowsill. He swung his legs over and dropped to sit cross-legged next to them. He tucked his hair behind his face and offered a nervous smile.

James held out the joint, passing it over Sirius to Remus. "You sure you know how, mate?"

Remus nodded and accepted it, putting it to his lips and inhaling. He'd never had a problem with coughing before and it was no different now. He closed his eyes as he held the smoke in his lungs, exhaling slowly and offering the joint to Sirius.

Sirius considered Remus for a moment. The boy was obviously the shy, bookish sort and yet, Sirius suddenly felt oddly drawn to him. He guessed you couldn't judge the bookish by their cover.

This made him snort out loud, although he hadn't said anything. James looked at him oddly, but Sirius merely laughed. "Busy tomorrow?" He asked Remus.

"Me?" Remus asked. "No. I'm not busy. I mean, well, eventually I'll have to finish my homework. But it could wait, I suppose." Remus couldn't believe he'd just said that, he couldn't believe he'd been smiling as he said it. He vaguely accepted the joint as James held it out to him. "Ah. Why?" he asked, before putting the weed to his lips and inhaling.

"James and I were planning on heading into town to, uh, procreate some... mischief, so to speak. You know, food colouring in the water system and such. Then we're going to some little spot called 'Auntie Mimi's' for food. Would you want to come? Or will you be busy with maths?" Sirius grinned warmly with a hint of amusement. He was interested to see how Remus would fair in the midst of a practical joke.

Remus was quite aware how completely against the rules Sirius' proposition sounded. Remus knew he shouldn't even consider it. It was just... Sirius looked so alive and intense and if Remus was honest, he and James were the first people to actually try to include him in anything and the fact that it was _Sirius and James_ and Remus had already heard some rumours. Well. He felt... lucky.

Remus held the joint out to Sirius and smiled rather lopsidedly. "Not too busy. I might be able to spare a few moments to 'procreate' with you. I mean, mischief. I mean. Oh bother," he stammered, laughing a little. "Sorry. You know what I mean."

Sirius grinned happily. "Welcome to East Portlemouth then," he said rather stupidly and slapped Remus upside the back before taking the joint from him.

Sharing a look with James he drew deeply from the joint again. Tomorrow would be an interesting day.


	4. A Date, A Date! (September 11th, 2002)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where the library needs to be cleaned, Lily has lovely tits, and Remus _so_ didn't ask her out.

Lily felt a desire to strangle someone coming on.

She needed one book. Just one stupid, bothersome book that -- while the pointy-nosed librarian had told her it existed -- was absolutely no where to be found. She had searched every bookshelf, in every corner of the library (which was in dire need of a dusting according to her sneezes), and nothing. Absolutely nothing.

Until she spotted the boy.

He was sitting with his head so close to the table that there were ink spots on his nose, surrounded entirely by stacks of books, one of which was the one she needed. She strode over to him purposefully, stopping and looking at him with her head tilted, a look of annoyance on her face.

"I'll give you my firstborn for that Beginner's Chemistry book," she said.

Remus looked up, shocked at the sudden interruption. He pushed his reading classes up his nose and stared blankly at the determined, poised redheaded girl before him. He blinked and looked over to the text she was referring to. He had been planning on using it to get an early start studying. They had a quiz next Monday that he wanted to be prepared for. Of course, it was only Wednesday and she obviously wanted it very badly.

"I'm not very good with children, I don't think," Remus said with a tentative smile and pulled the book from his pile and held it out to her. "You can keep your firstborn, too."

"Shame," Lily said with a smile, taking the book. "I've many aspects of my shady past to get rid of." She held her hand toward the boy, deciding she liked him already. "I'm Lily," she said. "Lily Evans."

Remus got quickly to his feet to shake her hand. He marvelled at how soft and small her hand was in his and at her warm and friendly demeanour. "Remus Lupin," he answered. "And if you're really in a bind, I've heard of this bloke named Rumpelstiltskin who might be able to lend you a hand."

Lily laughed. "I'm sure I'll manage," she said bemusedly. "You look as though you're quite up to your ears. Second year?"

"First," Remus replied, pleased he'd made her laugh. "But I'm in on scholarship. You?" He was sure she was the Lily girl from orientation, but asked anyhow.

"First as well," she replied, seating herself opposite him as he returned to his own chair. "I'm from Kingsbridge, actually. East Portlemouth is rather a family tradition."

"I'm from Stoke Fleming, a ways north east of here. My parents originally wanted to send me to a private school a little closer to home, but it was a bit bigger and much more expensive and they didn't have much in the way of scholarships for locals. You know, trying to appeal to an international market and all. So I came here," Remus rambled. "Kingsbridge is close, isn't it?"

"Not too far from Salcombe. My mum and dad drove me there, and I took the ferry." She paused and looked at him with interest. "Are you enjoying school so far?"

Remus nodded. "Yes. I think it's rather wonderful here, isn't it?" he commented. "I'm up on the top floor in the tower. You know, where there are only two rooms? The boys there are quite nice. You know them, don't you? Sirius Black and James Potter?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "I've known them since I was 11," she admitted with distaste. "They set a goat on me at a revival in Kingsbridge, and then James tried to make it up by kissing me on the cheek. I pushed him in the lake." She shrugged. "He's been asking me out ever since."

"Oh," Remus said, and tried very hard not to smile. It was immature and silly, but it certainly seemed like something his new friends would do. "What do you think of East Portlemouth so far?"

"It's all right," Lily answered indifferently. "Like any other school really."

"Oh, have you gone to private school all your life then?" Remus asked with interest. He'd gone to a large, rowdy public school back home in Stoke Fleming. It hadn't exactly been home to the best times of his life, to say the least, and it was vastly different from East Portlemouth. The two couldn't even compare.

Lily nodded. "Yes. My parents are rather particular about mine and my sister's education... the things we're exposed too. They're rather religious, to be honest, but they're opening up slightly. They let me cut my hair this year," she added, gesturing to her head, hair just above her shoulders and layered. "It was down to my arse in August. I'd never had it cut in my life."

Remus raised his eyebrows. "They didn't want you to cut your hair? How come?"

Lily sighed. "I've really no idea. I never ever received an answer other than 'no'. I think they just liked us to look how they wanted us to look, not how we wanted to."

"Oh, that makes sense. Well not that... I mean, as a reason. I understand, though I'm glad they've let you do it your way. It looks nice," Remus said rather awkwardly, stumbling over his words as he struggled to express what he meant. "My parents have always been very supportive of any choices I might make. I mean, even if they always worked a lot and weren't around perhaps as much as they wanted, they did their best to encourage me to be, well, me."

"My parents encourage me to be 'me' in moderation," Lily said. "A limited me, so to speak. And thanks!" she added proudly, flipping her hair. "Do you really like it? I was a bit nervous about it, you know, never having done it before."

"Oh, yes," Remus said quickly, nodding. "The layers rather bring out your eyes and accentuate your cheekbones. It's a good length for you; though I'm sure the long hair looked nice as well. I mean, as much as hair can affect a person's beauty anyway. I. Oh, I mean. Mostly it's just, you know. Personality. I think."

Lily laughed. "I don't believe you must compliment people much."

Remus blushed a little and shrugged sheepishly. "No. I suppose I don't. To be honest, I spend more time with books than people, usually."

Lily put her elbows on the table and leaned her head on her hands, studying Remus' body language. "Right. And what was the real reason then?" She had never been a beat around the bush sort of person, even with total strangers, or those she had just met. She could elicit the truth out of people, and she was nosy.

"I don't, I," Remus mumbled, feeling very self-conscious indeed. He tucked his hair behind his ears and shifted a little in his chair. "I was very busy. My parents didn't have very much money, so I helped out. I didn't have time, really."

"I see," Lily sniffed, disbelievingly. "And that's it then?"

Remus felt an odd compulsion to tell Lily the truth. She had a determined but warm air about her and Remus felt that he _had_ to tell her, but that it would be okay to do so. It was an odd combination, Remus thought.

"Ah. Well, I mean, I suppose people didn't exactly want to be friends with the poor kid," he answered, managing at the last minute to not tag on _sick_ as an adjective.

"Kids are stupid," Lily offered a little sadly. "And mean, and thoughtless. And generally horrible."

Remus shrugged and forced a smile. "It wasn't that bad, honest. I have a good life."

"That's the important thing," Lily said with a smile. "And you'll have friends here, I'm sure! You have me so far, if you like. I'm rather nosy, loud and enthusiastic though, I must warn you."

Remus grinned honestly and nodded. "You know what, I think that I quite like you, Lily," he said. "So long as you don't mind the terrible literary allusions I try to pass off as jokes."

"We all have our little secrets," Lily said. "I'll keep yours if you keep mine," she offered.

"Oh? You have secrets, Lily?" Remus asked with a smile.

Lily winked. "Don't we all?" she said secretively. "Everyone has something to hide. Don't you?"

"Well," Remus said and then mimed zipping his lips shut. "So. Beginner's Chemistry, hmm?"

Lily smiled wryly. "I can't say I'm a fan of it," she said. "I like to do a bit of background reading."

"Chemistry isn't my strong suit so I have to work quite a bit harder at it. I'm decent with Maths and Physics because those are mostly just formulas, but really I prefer English and Literature," Remus said.

"Me too," Lily said. "And art. I love to sketch."

"Really? I can't really draw or paint, but I am quite good with my hands," he said, and then cleared his throat uncomfortably when his word choice registered. "I mean. Good at, you know. Building things, putting them together."

Lily giggled. "I'll bet," she said, then bit her bottom lip. "So how about girlfriends, hmm? Have yourself a bird at home?"

Remus shook his head and offered a rueful smile. "I can't even manage a decent friendship, let alone a romantic relationship. You? I mean, aside from James' unrequited crush, apparently."

"A few boyfriends, I suppose, but nothing serious. Most of them have been entirely based on tits and arse, so I don't consider them relationships as such," Lily said. "But I'm single now," she added suggestively.

"Oh," Remus answered, blushing again. "Well, I can't imagine _why_. You seem quite wonderful to me."

Lily blushed as well. "Sometimes I suppose I'd like to think that there's more to me then tits and arse. My tits aren't even that big," she said sadly.

"I. Well. I mean. They're very lovely," Remus stammered, nervously tucking his hair behind his ears again. "But I meant _you_. As a person. You seem like a wonderful person."

Lily laughed. "Thank you, Remus Lupin," she said softly.

Remus nodded and smiled tentatively at her. "You're very welcome. Thank you. For befriending me, I mean."

"You're welcome as well," Lily replied and bit her lip again as she looked at her fingers on the edge of the table. She swallowed slightly, and looking at Remus almost expectantly.

"Do you have a Chemistry test next Monday as well?" Remus asked casually. "I mean. We could. Um. Study, together. If you wanted. Since you'll have the book."

"We could," Lily started slowly. "Or we could do something else."

"Oh? Like, um. Like what?" Remus asked, his voice curious.

"Erm. A date, maybe?" Lily suggested tentatively. "I mean, if you'd like. Because I would."

"What? A _date_? I mean, you would? I. Oh," Remus responded, surprised. "I mean. Yes, sure. I would. I've never, well, no one has ever... I mean yes. I would."

Lily smiled widely and happily. "Wonderful! We can go out this weekend, in Salcombe. I can show you around, and we can get something to eat. Sound good?"

"Sounds good," Remus agreed, and smiled too. Lily's grin was catching, he couldn't help it. She had asked him on a date, and she was happy that he'd said yes. No one had ever really paid him any mind before, until Lily. "Great. I can't wait."

"Wonderful," Lily replied jovially. "And I hate to make dates and run, but I do have to do so. I was planning to study with my roommate, and I do believe she's been waiting for a while."

Remus nodded. "Yes, we have been chatting for quite a while," he said, and got to his feet as she did. "It was wonderful to meet you, Lily Evans."

"Wonderful to meet you as well, Remus Lupin." Lily leaned forward on her tip toes and kissed him on the cheek. "I'll see you on Saturday," she said, and flipped her hair backward, grabbed the chemistry book, and then turned to leave.

"Saturday," Remus repeated softly and watched her leave. Once the door shut behind her, he put his hand to his cheek and sunk back into his chair and smiled to himself, staring blankly at his books. _I have a date. On Saturday. With a girl. The one that turned down James Potter. Oh bollocks_.


	5. The Will & Grace Date (September 14th, 2002)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Remus admits to crying (like a baby) when he saw Titantic, Lily has depleted brain cells, and both experience the most awkward and inappropriate kiss of their lives.

Dabbing a bit of lip gloss on her lips, Lily puckered for the mirror, and then fixed her hair slightly. Hestia was behind her, sitting on the toilet, grinning bemusedly at the expressions her friend was making.

"Honestly, you big tart," she said. "You look _fine_."

"I'm just nervous," Lily replied, plopping her lip gloss into her purse. "It's been a long time since I've been on a date with a nice boy."

Hestia shrugged. "Too nice, if you ask me. From what I've heard around school about Lupin, he's completely docile. Sirius says that you'd need to light him on fire to get a worthwhile reaction out of him."

"Sirius would say that, just to set him on fire to prove it," Lily said. "And I think Remus is charming, and sweet."

"I think he's gay," Hestia argued.

"Why?" Lily asked, disbelievingly.

"Because, Lils, you have one of the nicest arses around, and when we spoke to him yesterday, he didn't even look at it when we turned to leave."

Lily was about to counter that that was what made Remus so nice, but was interrupted by the sound of Hestia's doorbell.

"That'll be him," she said. "Sure you don't mind me going?"

Hestia shook her head. "Have fun, love. I'll be fine with Em anyhow. See you tonight?"

Lily nodded, and then headed downstairs and toward the front door.

Remus smoothed his hair behind his ears for the thousandth time as he waited at the door. He had a small bouquet of flowers in one hand and he'd stuffed the other into his pocket after fiddling with his hair. He didn't know what he was doing with Lily, really. She was very beautiful and certainly out of his league. He wasn't sure why she even wanted to go on a date with him. Perhaps she felt bad for him. But she'd seemed to like him well enough in the library. He hoped it wasn't pity. He hoped James didn't find out. He hoped he didn't make a complete and total arse of himself. He hoped... 

The door opened then, cutting off his train of thought. It was Lily, and Remus said quickly, "Good evening. You look lovely. I brought flowers."

Lily blinked. A small nervous smile crept onto her lips, despite the rehearsed sound of Remus' words. "Thank you," she said. "They're beautiful. Hang on a moment; I'll just drop them in the kitchen."

Remus stuffed both hands into his pockets as he waited, and then pulled them out again to rub his palms dry on his trousers. He hoped he'd brought enough money, but it was all he had. Remus spotted Hestia through the open door and waved politely just as Lily reappeared. He smiled at her and tucked his already tucked hair back once more.

"Bye Hes," Lily said quietly, and stepped out onto the porch beside Remus, shutting the door. "Ready to go then?" she asked.

"Of course," he answered. "Do you like Japanese? I thought we might go for sushi. If you'd like. If you don't, there are plenty of other places."

Lily nodded. "That's fine," she said. "I like sushi."

"Okay. Great," Remus said and awkwardly held his arm out to her and turning in the direction of the restaurant.

Lily took his arm and allowed him to lead her. "So," she said. "How are things?"

"Oh. Good. Passed the Chemistry test," he said with a smile, referencing the text book they were both looking for when they'd met in order to do supplementary reading. "And how are you?"

"I'm okay," Lily said. "James asked me out again yesterday," she added thoughtfully. "He was a bit put off when I told him I was seeing someone else."

Maybe that's what it was then. Maybe Remus was just a way to ward off James Potter. He cleared his throat uncomfortably. "Yes, well. He's the determined sort, I think. I'm sure he'll recover quickly." _And then beat me up when he finds out who it is she's seeing_.

"He's an annoying prat, is what he is," Lily said.

"Oh, I don't know. He doesn't seem--well, but he isn't asking me out on dates every week, so I'm sure you'd know better than I," Remus said pragmatically. "So. Ah, what do you do for fun, Lily? I mean. Hobbies. Do you have any hobbies?"

"Not really," Lily answered honestly. "I sketch though, so I suppose that counts. But unless drugs count as a hobby, that's really it."

"Oh, um. What sort of drugs?" Remus asked, trying to sound polite rather than just curious.

"Weed," Lily answered honestly.

Remus nodded. "Sirius and James, too. I mean, I do it with them every so often, but they're far more dedicated than I. Sirius can actually blow smoke rings, which I thought was, well. Interesting." Remus paused for a moment and then asked, "What sort of sketches? Still lifes or people or animals or other?"

"A bit of everything," Lily said. "I'll show you some time. And I can do smoke rings as well, and I'm willing to bet mine are better than Sirius Black's. I'll show you after we eat. I've got two joints in my purse."

Remus laughed and looked around casually, hoping no one had heard. Of course, there wasn't anyone around. They still had another block or two of walking before they were out of the residential area. 

"I'm sure they are," he said, though he wasn't sure he believed it. "And I'd love to see your sketches. I'm not very artsy myself, really. I mean. I'm good with my hands, I guess. Making things, I mean. Oh, and I'm not too bad on a computer, but neither of those are really very artistic skills at all, so..." he rambled.

"I'm rather bad with computers, so it really depends on what you do online. Emmeline makes icons, for livejournal and such, and they're always really pretty. Mine always look like, well. Badly pixellated with comic sans for the font. In bright yellow, or something similar," Lily said.

"Oh, I do a bit of graphics stuff, I guess. But I'm better at, well, minor hacking," Remus said with a sheepish shrug. "I mean, I can get into most of the sites the school has restricted, plus I've managed to download a downloading program to get movies and such."

"That's pretty impressive," Lily commented thoughtfully. "What sort of sites has the school restricted?"

"Well. Obviously anything to do with porn, but that can be downloaded anyway if... oh, not that I, you know. Do. I just meant theoretically," Remus stammered. "And they've also blocked anything to do with Satan worshipping, which sort of makes sense considering, but I still think it's censoring information."

"I'm sure that you look at porn, Remus. If you're like any other fourteen year old, that is," Lily said, indifferent.

Remus blushed and looked away. He didn't, not really, but he didn't see the point in arguing about it. "So, um, what do you want to do with your life?"

"I can't say I've decided," Lily said. "There are so many things I could do, you know? I just want whatever it is to be worthwhile. How about you?"

"I'm not quite sure either. Perhaps I'll be an English teacher," he said thoughtfully. "I like school and I love books, it'd be quite wonderful to combine them, I think. Though I'm not sure I'm very good with children."

"Would you ever want to have children of your own?" Lily asked.

Remus blinked. He'd never really thought of that, of getting married and having children and all of that. "I don't know," he replied honestly. "I'm not sure. I think I'd be a better, you know. Removed family member. Uncle or something, only I haven't got any siblings."

"A lot of people seem afraid of the idea of having children of their own," Lily said thoughtfully. "But you never know. Perhaps you'd make a great dad."

"Perhaps," Remus allowed, turning right. They'd be at the restaurant any moment now, so long as he hadn't gotten lost. "But what about you? Do you want children then?"

"Yes," Lily said. "Someday. Without a doubt."

"Oh," Remus replied, the fervour in her voice making him feel a bit odd. Here they were on their first date talking about _children_ , for goodness sakes.

A few minutes of awkward quiet passed where Lily just looked at her shoes. After a while, she asked, "Are we there yet?"

"Um. Well yes, nearly. It's just there," he said, pointing midway up the block at a small, rather dingy restaurant with a sign proclaiming SUSHI + TEMPURA over the door. It didn't look very impressive, that was for sure.

The place looked downright dirty so far as Lily was concerned. " _That's_ the place?" she questioned, before she could stop herself.

Remus nodded tersely and reached to open the door for her. He hesitated, though, and said in a sort of apologetic voice, "We can go somewhere else, if you'd like. Sirius said the food here is all right."

"No, no," Lily amended quickly. "This is fine."

Remus pulled the door open and gestured for her to go in. It was sort of dark inside and a bit shabby, but a waiter sat them right away and left them with menus to look over. "So, um. What's your favourite class?"

"Art," Lily replied. "I don't generally enjoy school."

"Oh," Remus said. They seemed to have less and less in common with every subject change. Curious, he asked, "What's your favourite colour?"

Lily looked up from her menu, puzzled. "Green. Why?"

"Just curious. Mine is red. Do you prefer chocolate or vanilla?"

Lily was beginning to think he was a little bit retarded. "Chocolate."

At this, Remus smiled, albeit somewhat tentatively, and opened his menu. "Me too. What sort of chocolate?"

"Erm," Lily began thoughtfully. "Milky. Not too, too rich, you know? The sweet, melt in your mouth, sugary after-taste sort."

Well. At least it was chocolate, if not the really good sort. It was the kind Remus couldn't really eat, because of his diabetes. Too sweet. "I prefer dark, to be honest. The more cocoa the better. Especially the bittersweet sort without much sugar."

Lily shrugged. "Each to their own," she said.

"Yes, yes. Of course," Remus said quickly. There was another awkward silence as Remus wracked his brain for something to fill it with. He looked down at the menu and then quickly back up again. "Oh. Do you know what you'd like yet?"

"I think I'll have tempura," Lily decided, closing the menu. "You?"

"California rolls. We can share a bit, if you'd like. When I went with my parents on my father's birthday a few years ago, we just ordered a few dishes and shared it all around," Remus said.

Lily nodded. "That's fine," she said.

As soon as they closed their menus, the waiter came to take their orders. Once he was gone, there was another awkward silence. "Um. I like your cardigan," Remus commented.

Lily looked down in surprise, surveying her clothing. "Oh! Um, thank you."

"You do look very nice. I know before, I. Well," he said, confusing himself. "I like cardigans in general, I think. They're very comfortable."

"Agreed," Lily replied. "And warm."

"Oh, yes. And warm," Remus said quickly.

Both Lily and Remus became what Lily considered disgustingly quiet as they waited for their food. Lily bit her lip and wondered idly what Remus was thinking, sipping on her water at random intervals, and then chewing on her nails.

"So," she said.

"So," Remus replied. It was awkward. It was terribly awkward and he didn't know how to fix it. They'd gotten on so well in the library. Books, perhaps? "Do you like to read?"

Lily jumped at the topic. "Oh yes," she said. "I love reading!"

"Fantastic! What sorts of books do you like?" Remus asked eagerly. Finally something they could _really_ talk about.

"Fiction primarily," she replied. "Mystery, murder mystery, um. Fantasy is always fun."

Remus nodded. "I love most genres. Perhaps not murder mystery so much. I read a lot of political and historical fiction, but I like easy reads too," he said enthusiastically. "And, yes, fantasy is fun."

"Have you ever read the Chronicles of Narnia?" Lily asked.

"Yes! I loved those books when I was a child," Remus laughed.

"I still love to re-read them," Lily admitted. "When I'm bored, or in need of a cheering up. _The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe_ is still my absolute favourite of them though."

"I heard they're going to make a movie," Remus said, leaning back as the waiter set their food down. "But it could just be a rumour. I hope not," he added as the waiter left.

"Which conglomerate?" Lily asked, interested.

"Disney, I think. I'm not sure," Remus answered. "I hope they do a good job."

"Me too. That's a difficult movie to make," Lily said, grabbing her chopsticks and settling in to her food.

"What about James Joyce? Have you ever read him?" Remus asked, putting a small dab of wasabi onto a piece of sushi and dipping it inexpertly into the dish of soy sauce before eating it. He choked a little and took a sip of water to wash it down. It had been too much wasabi.

Lily laughed. "Bit much for you?" She smiled. "But no, I haven't read Joyce, but I've heard of him."

"Yes, just a bit," Remus said, blushing and sipping some more water. "Anyway. Joyce is a bit heavy. I don't necessarily recommend him, especially not for entertainment. Unless existentialism is your pleasure. I only asked because he can be interesting to discuss."

"I dunno," Lily said. "I'm not big on existentialism. I like more post-modern, then say, post-colonial literature. Like Heart of Darkness, or Mrs. Dalloway."

"Oh, Heart of Darkness," Remus said and rolled his eyes good-naturedly. "I agree with you. I enjoy other sorts of literature more, but on principle I try to read as much as I can."

"Me too, though I've been sticking to more recent books as of late. Have you read any Nicholas Sparks?" Lily asked.

Remus nodded somewhat sheepishly. "Yes. I know it isn't very manly, but I have. The Notebook was, well. Quite good."

"It's nothing to be ashamed of. The Notebook was clearly one of the most amazing books ever written," Lily said. "There's talks of it being made into a movie as well. Which would be wonderful, of course."

Remus had a feeling they might have to become movie buddies. He didn't think Sirius or James would ever go to something like The Notebook with him. But then, perhaps he shouldn't go. He would likely be socially exiled if he cried at a girly movie. "Do you know when it's meant to be released?"

Lily shrugged. "2004? 2005? I'm rather uncertain."

"A ways away, at any rate," Remus said. "So how do you like the tempura?"

"I'm impressed," Lily replied. "It's much better than I expected it to be, given our, um," she gestured around. "Surroundings."

Remus looked down at his plate for a moment before catching her eye and saying in an embarrassed sort of voice, "I'm sorry. I wish I could've taken you somewhere nicer. It's just, well. I don't have a lot of spending money."

"Don't worry Remus," Lily assured her date with a smile. "I'm enjoying myself."

"At least since we started talking about books," Remus said with a smile.

"Common ground is always a good jumping off point," Lily agreed. "What else do you like, Remus?"

"Well," he started, trying to think of something they hadn't covered yet. Chocolate, school, computers, books. "I suppose I'm a bit of an environmental activist, in the letter-writing, petition-starting way. I'm not very confrontational, really."

Lily grinned broadly. "Remus Lupin, enviro-activist? Now _that_ I never would've guessed."

"Well. Perhaps _activist_ is too strong of a word, really," he amended, smiling. "I am merely a concerned citizen who is outraged to a degree that is perhaps only slightly more than is politically correct regarding the completely lack of environmental conscience some in our society have. Or rather, don't have? I'm not sure, that sentence was a bit confusing, wasn't it?"

"I think that the bottom line is that you're an activist in a shy boy's body. Have you talked to James or Sirius about your 'concern'?"

"Oh. Well, not really. Are they interested in the environment?" Remus asked, smiling at her comment. She was probably quite right.

"James hangs around with a pair of brothers here in Salcombe that run an underground group sponsored by the Kingsbridge group. Well. Nobody knows that but the people in it of course. Gid and Fay Prewett have made it their personal mission in life to bring down Vol De Mort fashions."

"Really?" Remus asked, shocked. He felt as though he'd just been told about a secret society. Which he sort of had, really. "How do you know about it? Are you involved? I've never even heard of Vol de Mort fashions. Shows what kind of activist I am."

"Well it's a local thing, really. T.M. Riddle, the guy who runs it, is a bitch basically. He is against everything environmentally sound, to the point where the first thing he bought when his first line sold was a hummer, of all things." Lily took a sip of water and continued. "But yea, I'm involved. A lot of us are. It's just a lot of protesting, and vandalism, to be honest, but it's something."

"Vandalism? I mean, peaceful protesting is one thing, but you can get arrested for vandalism," Remus commented.

Lily shrugged. "We just don't get arrested. You've no idea how much James and Sirius have done in the name of the group, really."

"Like what?" Remus asked curiously. There was so much about his new friends he didn't know and they were both incredibly interesting.

Lily scratched behind her ear, pursing her lips thoughtfully. "Oh dear. Well, I really shouldn't tell you, love... but. Well. There's a giant pot leaf on the side of the hospital here. They put that there in support of marijuana legalization. Um. At the Vol De Mort Kingsbridge store last summer, they painted dead animals all over the windows." She furrowed her brows, trying to think of something not _too_ controversial; regardless she felt that Remus was probably interested enough to join the group anyhow.

"They made a piñata of a calf in a cage, and let kids at the park here in Salcombe hit it with a bat. That one made the evening news."

"That sounds like their style," he said with a laugh. He could practically see Sirius' face talking about animal cruelty as kids behind him whacked a paper calf to get at the candy.

Lily smiled. "They're really passionate about it," she said, pushing her empty plate forward and taking another sip of water. "Would you want to, you know. Join?"

"Oh. Well, I mean, I'm not quite so daring about acting out," Remus said nervously. "I don't think I'd really be able to help much."

Lily quirked an eyebrow. "I think you'd be better for it than you think. Gid and Fay are always looking for decent computer hackers you know. You'd be an answer to their prayers."

"Oh, well," Remus said. He hadn't even really thought of that. He'd had this picture in his head of sneaking about in the dark and spray painting things onto buildings and he certainly didn't think that it was something he was really cut out for. "Perhaps you're right. I could sort of be the man behind the desk, so to speak."

The waiter dropped the bill off then, and Remus reached for it, pulling out his wallet. He had enough money to pay for it all, thankfully, and even left a decent tip.

"Whenever you're ready," he said to let her know they didn't have to leave right away.

"I'm ready," Lily replied, getting to her feet. "Regardless, Remus, you'll still have to pay your dues. Everyone ends up doing what they don't think they can do. The girls who join in particular. Not that you have to worry about that of course, being a boy and all."

"What did you do that you didn't think you could?" Remus asked, holding the door open for Lily as they walked out into the night.

Lily looked at Remus seriously. "You don't want to know," she said.

"If you say so," Remus said with a laugh. He didn't want to make her say anything she didn't want to say. "So we both like books, and we're both excited for movies that are going to be made on books. But what about just plain old movies?"

"What's your all time favourite?" Lily asked, thankful he hadn't pushed to get her to tell some of her personal experiences with the Order.

"Oh, I can't pick favourites," Remus said, shaking his head. "One I just saw recently again after a few years is Titanic. Perhaps it's a guilty pleasure I should keep to myself, but I just love that movie."

Lily smiled wryly. "Did you cry?"

Remus coughed and looked away. "I refuse to answer that on the grounds of self-preservation," he said with a smile. "Which secretly means yes. Like a baby."

Lily grinned. "Good, I'm glad," she said. "That makes me like you quite a bit, Remus." Though certainly not romantically, she decided then and there.

"Did you cry?" Remus asked her, feeling less self-conscious but more uncertain as they neared Hestia’s house.

"Of course," Lily replied, reaching into her purse and pulling out the two joints she had mentioned earlier, along with a lighter. She handed one to Remus and put the other between her lips. "Watch this," she said as she lit it, and then inhaled, filling her mouth with smoke.

She blew perfectly formed smoke rings into the crisp fall air, and then handed Remus her lighter.

"Yes, very good. I can't do it at all," Remus said with a smile, putting the joint between his lips and inhaling, passing the lighter back to her. He felt comfortable around her, but as beautiful as she was, he couldn't say he was overwhelmed by a desire to kiss her. The first half of their date had been quite awkward, but after they'd fallen into a rhythm, they'd talked like old friends. Remus thought that if he had any old friends, he wouldn't want to kiss them. He wondered how exactly their goodnight would end up going.

"Thank you, Lily," he said as he exhaled, trying to focus on their conversation instead of worrying about the next few minutes.

"You're welcome," she replied with a smile, sliding the lighter back into her purse. "I'm certain that I've depreciated most of my brain cells with this you know. I should honestly be ashamed."

"Oh, I don't know," Remus said. "You seem very intelligent to me. It's been a pleasure talking with you."

"And vice versa," Lily said. "I do hope you'll want to go out again sometime."

"Oh, yes, of course," Remus said. After a moment he added a bit uncertainly, "You mean on a, well. A date?"

Lily stopped walking, joint balancing between her lips, and paused thoughtfully, collecting her thoughts before speaking. She didn't want to hurt his feelings. She took her joint between her fingers, arranging her words carefully in her mind.

He'd offended her. He was sure of it. He wasn't sure what to do to make it better; he didn't want her to think he didn't like her. He certainly did, more than any girl he'd ever met, anyway. Should he kiss her? He should kiss her. She probably expected him to. He pinched his joint between the fingers of one hand and awkwardly leaned towards her, praying he wasn't making an even bigger mistake.

He pressed his lips to hers, the kiss uncomfortable and rather perfunctory. He stayed like that, unmoving for a moment, before leaning back and stammering, "Um. I'm sorry, I don't... I mean, I didn't... That wasn't exactly, ah. Well..."

Trying to regain from the shock of being kissed, Lily laughed slightly. "Oh, Remus, I hope I didn't... you, I. Well. There's no easy way to say this, but I don't think we're really good for one another in _that_ way. More as good friends. If that's all right?" The kiss had been, she decided, most certainly one of the most uncomfortable situations she'd ever been in. She was also certain that there was no way in humanity Remus had ever kissed anyone else before.

Remus ducked his head and nodded, tucking his hair behind his ears. "Ah. Yes. I don't think that... I just thought you, I mean. I agree, I really do," he said, offering her an embarrassed smile.

"Good!" Lily said with a smile. "Then we can do this again sometime, minus the flowers and kisses."

Smiling, Lily felt strangely ecstatic to have found a friend in Remus Lupin. He was different than anyone else she'd ever met in her life, and as she blew another set of smoke rings into the night sky, she looped her arm with, smiling up at him comfortably.

This was the beginning of a very beautiful thing.


	6. Kidnapped! (October 12th, 2002)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where James is quite literally a clown, Lily is decidedly _un_ sensible, and Remus is very impressive.

Remus was very confused. He'd just been doing dishes at the Potters' house while they were all out at some family function for the afternoon, when suddenly he had a paper bag over his head and he was being pushed around by Sirius.

Because it was obviously Sirius. He'd know Sirius anywhere, whether he could see him or hear him or not. Of course, that didn't mean he hadn't had a moment of panic before he'd recognized the body behind him, until he'd realized the bag over his head was just paper and not plastic.

"What's going on?" Remus asked as he stumbled over the threshold. "I'm not wearing any shoes, Sirius."

Sirius didn't respond immediately. Instead, with the help of Lily (who was trying with all her might not to giggle), Remus was pushed into the backseat of the Potters' old car, face first, and was having his hands tied together with rope.

Climbing into the passenger’s seat and buckling up, Lily said, "Sirius, you're being dramatic, honestly."

"Sssh," Sirius responded before shutting the back door and climbing into the drivers seat. "There are circumstances."

"What sort?" Lily asked as Sirius started the car.

" _Lily_? I could understand something like this from Sirius, but why are you helping him?" Remus asked, confused. "And where are we going? Oh Lord, _who's driving_?"

"Sirius is, Remus, do calm down," Lily replied as the car began moving forward. "We're not about to kill you or anything. We're just taking you to see someone, that's all."

"And I'm a perfectly capable driver," Sirius added. "Even if I don't have my license."

"It's supposed to calm me down that Sirius is driving? He doesn't have a license. You don't have a _license_ , Sirius," Remus said, a little frantically. He was worried, of course, even though he ultimately trusted Sirius and Lily. It was just... too bizarre a situation for him not to question it. What sort of person in their right mind would lend a 15-year-old their car, anyway? "Whose car are we in? Did you steal a car? Lily, I thought you were sensible."

"It's Mr. and Mrs. Potter's old car," Sirius explained, stopping at a stop sign. "And they don't actually know I have it, but that's not really the point."

"And I'm still sensible," Lily interjected, reaching back and patting Remus awkwardly on the shoulder. "This is for your own good, of course."

Remus sighed, giving in. It's not like he could do much. He couldn't see anything and his hands were tied. Literally. "Right. Well. I don't suppose you're going to tell me where we're going or why it's necessary for me to be bound and blinded, are you?"

"Of course we're not telling you," Sirius answered, turning right.

"And you're only tied up and blinded because Sirius likes to play kidnap, seems like," Lily said, smirking in Sirius' direction.

"Evans, you're just jealous that you're not all tied up and at my mercy," Sirius countered.

Lily rolled her eyes and said, "Ew, Sirius."

Remus, inexplicably, just blushed. Not that anyone could tell with a _paper bag_ over his _head_. "Sirius, be polite or I'll tell James you were mean to Lily."

"In case you haven't noticed, Remus, you're tied up and wearing a bag over your head, unable to remove it," Sirius answered. "I can't say that I'm worried."

Remus thought that if he rubbed his head on the back of the seat the right way, he'd likely be able to get the bag off, but he didn't really want to ruin Sirius' fun. What was done was done anyway.

"Right. Sorry. Forgot my place, I suppose. Forgive me," he said dryly, his smile coming through in his voice.

"You're not a very good victim," Sirius said shortly, pulling into a driveway and stopping.

Lily unbuckled her seatbelt and climbed out, walking around to the other side of the car where Sirius was already removing Remus. Walking on either side of him they led him through a set of doors, down some steps and sat him on a hard wooden chair.

"Um, I'm not sure this is all in good fun anymore. Where are we, Sirius? Or I suppose it would be smarter to ask Lily. So? You say you're still sensible, Lily; care to tell me what's going on?" Remus rambled.

He was quite suddenly shocked into silence, however, when the bag was tugged off of his head and he found himself blinking up into the tanned, boyish face of a man Remus had never met before. He was smiling, though, and didn't look all that threatening. Not that he'd actually expected Sirius and Lily to take him somewhere dangerous.

"Ah. Hello," Remus greeted the man nervously. "Remus Lupin. Pleasure to make your acquaintance. I'd shake your hand, but my own is currently indisposed."

"No worries, _Mr. Lupin_ , if that is your real name. My brother and I, we've heard much about you. You may call me, Mr. Gideon." Gideon Prewett arched his chest forward impressively as another young man stepped into Remus' view. He was a little shorter than the first, with very pretty, fluffy hair and an equally playful grin. "This," Gideon continued, "is my brother. You may call him, Mr. Fabian."

"Hey," Fabian said, waving cheerily. "Just Fabian is fine, actually. We're the Prewett brothers. Perhaps you've heard about us?"

Remus _had_ , of course. James and Sirius talked of the Prewetts in hushed, awe-filled voices at times, but until now, Remus had never quite understood why. They had quite a presence about them, and Remus couldn't help but admire the casual confidence each man possessed. He thought he could tell just by looking at them that they knew exactly who they were and they were proud of that.

"Yes. Hello. Pleasure to... well, I've already said that," Remus said, feeling a little flustered. "Look, I don't mean to be rude, but I'm slightly confused. What exactly is going on?"

"Well you see," Gideon began, absently stroking the scruff on his chin, "We run this little group. A little group that, in order to join it, you need to be either recommended by a member or asked to join by myself or Fabian. You've received numerous nominations, Mr. Lupin, and we just might consider letting you join."

Suddenly, Remus put two and two together. This was what Lily had been talking about on their date. The group she'd mentioned that James and Sirius were in. "Oh. Right. Well. That's why I'm here then?"

"Yep! To find out whether or not you're right for The Order of Weed," Fabian declared grandly. "So then. We've just got a few questions for you. Want to start, Gid?"

"Of course, little brother," Gideon said. He quirked an eyebrow at Remus. "Have you ever smoked pot?"

"Well. Yes," Remus admitted, figuring that the leaders of a society entitled the Order of Weed couldn't possibly have any objections to that. "Here and there."

"Great. Do you own, have you ever owned, or would you ever consider owning a piece of merchandise made, designed, or otherwise related to Vol de Mort Fashions?" Fabian asked, smiling brightly. The boy was wearing a short-sleeved button up shirt and khaki slacks. He didn't exactly look the Vol de Mort type.

"Ah. I don't know much about his clothes, really. I doubt I could afford them," Remus said honestly. "And even if I could, I've heard some appalling things about his business practices. I wouldn't be willing to support him."

"What do you think about child labour practices and sweatshop labour in general?" Gideon asked.

"Utterly unacceptable," Remus said simply.

"And what about trees?" Fabian asked.

Remus blinked. "Er, what about them?"

"What do you think about them. Trees."

"I... they're nice, I suppose," Remus said. "I wish there were more of them around. I like trees. Seems they're disappearing, though."

"Do you have anything moral against political vandalism?" asked Gideon.

"Um. A deeply ingrained fear of getting caught? And, well, it's _vandalism_." After a brief pause, Remus sighed and looked over his shoulder at Sirius. He didn't even know Sirius had the ability to be this quiet for this long. He'd heard Sirius rant about Riddle, and Sirius' passion had convinced Remus that some people deserved what they got. "Not against Riddle, no. No objections there."

"Can you keep secrets?" Fabian asked, his smile growing. He liked Remus already.

"This one is _very_ important," Gideon added.

Remus thought suddenly of his own secret, the one he was keeping from the only friends he'd ever had, however new they were. Nodding slightly, Remus answered, "Yes, I can."

"Splendid!" Gideon announced, clapping his hands together. "Just three more questions, Mr. Lupin. First, are you willing to put yourself at personal risk to make a difference to the world around you?"

"Yes, I suppose I am," Remus answered honestly. "Well, I suppose it depends on how _much_ risk, really. I won't do anything stupid."

"And we would never ask you to do anything stupid. Now. While the Order is made up by a lot of people, Gid and I are in charge," Fabian started, speaking slowly and pausing to consider his words. "We'd never endanger anyone, of course, or ask anyone to do anything they weren't comfortable with. Every mission is done on a volunteer basis. We're not tyrants or dictators. However. When it comes down to it, Remus, would you be able to follow an order made by either one of us, whether or not you agreed, if you knew we had your best interests at heart?"

Remus thought hard about this one. Based on his first impression of the Prewett brothers, and what he'd heard about them from his friends, they seemed like smart men. They seemed like they were worthy of Remus' trust. Smiling a little, Remus nodded. "Yes, I would. Well, unless I thought disobeying your orders might be of great assistance to someone else without putting any others at risk. I value my autonomy, and my friends are very important to me."

Gideon smiled widely. "Last question," he said, although he was certain he already knew what Remus' answer would be. "I hope you understand that a commitment to the Order is not to be taken lightly. This cannot be viewed as your 'idealistic' or 'hippie' phase, and you can't be willing to do this _just_ because your friends do, or because you've got nothing better to do. You have to _believe_ in what your fighting for, with every inch of your being, and you have to _want_ to make a contribution. Are you here because you want to be, Remus Lupin, all jokes about paper bags aside?"

Remus _would_ do a great many things for his friends, certainly. But if he really thought about it, what he'd heard thus far of Riddle and his company made Remus feel sick. And he was sure he'd barely scraped the surface. Of course, it was much more Remus' style to write letters and start petitions than join secret, illegal, underground activism societies. It was a cause he believed in without a doubt, but enough to do something this drastic?

"Yes," Remus said suddenly, sounding so sure he surprised even himself.

"Fabulous!" Fabian squealed, clapping his hands excitedly together before winking at Remus and adding, "I just _love_ getting new members."

"Welcome to the Order of Weed, Remus!" Gideon said, grinning broadly. "May your contributions be illegal, morally just, and chock full of peace, love and passion! In celebration, I vote we get high!"

"Hear, hear!" Sirius catcalled, stepping toward them, Lily behind him. He ruffled Remus' hair. "Jolly good show, Rem, spiffing, really."

"Told you you'd fit right in," Lily told him.

"Thank you," Remus said to the Prewetts, and then turned to smile up at Sirius after shaking his hair out of his eyes. "My wrists are still tied, you know. Mind, Sirius?"

"Told _us_ , too. These two both highly recommended you," Fabian said.

Sirius obliged Remus, untying his wrists and dropping the rope on the floor.

"Black there has been bugging the hell out of us for the last few weeks," Gideon said, settling himself on a ratty, old, plaid couch and turning on a lamp. "He was a boy possessed, I tell you what."

"I'm flattered," Remus said softly.

"Passionate fellow, Sirius is. Just the type to get you into trouble," Fabian remarked fondly, smirking at Sirius. "Always watches out for his mates, though. Speaking of, where's James? I thought you two were joined at the hip."

"Entertaining toddlers, I presume," Sirius said, plopping down on the couch next to Gideon. "His mother and father dragged him to his cousin's fourth birthday party. Last I heard, his Auntie wanted him to dress up like a clown."

Lily snorted, and commented, "His physical appearance would match his personality, then."

"I think he only went for the cake," Remus added, smiling. "You know James and cake."

Fabian snickered. "He can be a bit spastic when he's had sugar." Deciding to shift the conversation, Fabian asked, "So Remus. What special gifts have you got to bring to the Order?"

"He can make a mean peanut butter and jelly sandwich," Sirius offered.

Remus laughed. "And that's about it, really. I don't suppose I'll be much use at all, but you're stuck with me now."

"He's told me that he's got a knack with computer hacking," Lily said. "He's cracked the school system already."

"Hey!" Sirius exclaimed, indignant. "You never told me that! I could've been wasting my time looking at porn!"

Blushing, Remus said, "Well. It's not, I mean, I'm an amateur. I couldn't... launder money or anything like that, but I'm all right with bypassing password protections and whatnot. I could likely break into an email account or some such. I used to use it to check my grades. And I didn't do it so I could get _porn_ , Sirius."

"Maybe not, but I could," Sirius grumbled.

"Amateur, huh?" Gideon said, impressed. "That'll be useful, eh Fabian, once Riddle gets that website up."

"Will indeed," Fabian agreed, disappearing through a doorway to get a few pre-rolled joints from the top drawer of his dresser. The basement was headquarters to the Order of Weed, yes, but it was also where Gid and Fay lived. Taking one out and then tossing the baggie to his brother, Fabian grabbed the lighter from the ashtray on the coffee table and lit his. Passing the lighter to Gideon and the joint to Lily, he added, "And we can see if Remus can get any shipping information. Like, find out where Riddle sends his merchandise out from when he gets orders over the Internet."

"We'll be able to keep better track of stores, I suspect," Lily said, inhaling deeply and then holding the smoke in her mouth before blowing out perfectly formed smoke rings. She handed the joint to Sirius.

"It'll definitely be handy. We didn't have anyone computer savvy on board before, so this is great," Fabian said happily.

"I hope you aren't overestimating my usefulness. I'm really not all that good," Remus said. "Oh, I have already contacted the Kingsbridge Conservation Office, though. I was doing some research on Riddle and I thought it might be helpful to be on the mailing list. I've corresponded a few times with a fellow there, and he's agreed to keep me updated."

"Well, actually, the Order is supported, secretively, of course, by the Kingsbridge Group. They feed us information, we do the things that aren't exactly legal, and they don't get in trouble," Gideon explained.

"Oh," Remus said, nodding. "That makes sense. Well, I guess that's not all that helpful then."

Fabian rolled his eyes. "It might be. In the past, we've gotten information too late to do anything about, and Riddle's place is walking distance from the school you lot go to, so you never know. It might come in handy to have someone else getting the information, not that there's often much to do at Riddle's private property."

"Burn down his house?" Sirius suggested, expelling a cloud of smoke.

"Remember how I said we'd never ask you to do anything stupid?" Fabian said, leaning towards Sirius and grinning lopsidedly. "Well that's stupid. And not our right. It's just being vindictive and not accomplishing anything on our political agenda. Detrimental, really."

Reaching to take the joint from Sirius, Remus added, "Not to mention there's the possibility of serious physical injury or death. To people and surrounding trees."

"I was only joking," Sirius said. "I'm a bit dense at times but I'm not a complete idiot."

"Well you've successfully fooled the population of Salcombe and Kingsbridge," Lily said.

"I told Sirius to be nice to you, Lily. Be nice," Remus said to her playfully, taking another drag and then passing the joint to Gideon.

"Everyone should be nice to Lily," came a loud voice, and James came bounding into the room, vaulting over the side of the couch to land next to Gideon. He was grinning and had obviously ingested quite a lot of sugar and had some smears of white and red face paint still on his skin. Leaning forward, he produced a red clown nose from somewhere, and stuck it on Sirius' face. "So, you're in then, Rem?"

"I'm in," Remus confirmed, smiling.

"Great! Lils, Evans, darling. Celebrate this momentous occasion by letting me take you on a date?" he tried hopefully.

"Not usually, and never with face paint on you," Lily replied, raising her eyebrows.

"Alas. One of these days, she'll run out of excuses," James said, face full of valiant determination as he rubbed at where he (incorrectly) thought the paint might be. "At least I'm not wearing the nose anymore. Or the frilled shirt with the polka dots. Hideous. Worth it for the cake, though. It was good cake."

"Jamie, honey, the cake can never not be good," Sirius said, and squeezed the foam, red ball on his nose. "What do you think?" he asked the group. "Have I found my calling?"


	7. Musically-Related Woes (January 12th, 2003)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Sirius is the bane of many existences, Remus loses Sirius' trousers, and Severus channels Good Charlotte.

"I'M GOING TO STRANGLE THAT GREASY GIT!" Sirius exclaimed mournfully, and covered his face with a pillow. He was lying on his bed, blinds shut, lights off, and still his head was pounding.

The yelling, he observed a second after, probably wasn't a good move.

"Remusssssssssss..." he whined pitifully, pulling his head out. "Why does that kid have to live right under us? With metal trash? Honestly?" He ducked under the sanctity of his pillow once again, and moaned into it when, predictably, the volume increased.

Remus sighed and looked up from his homework. He'd dutifully agreed to come in and give James a break from babysitting Sirius through his winter cold, but he was starting to get a little annoyed. He had to get things done and he wasn't accomplishing anything here with Sirius.

"Just try to ignore it, Sirius. He has the right to play it, it's not quiet hours yet," Remus said gently. "Do you want some more tea?"

"Nnugh!" Sirius exclaimed through the fabric and emerged again, offering Remus a dirty look. "No, I don't bloody want some more tea Remus! I want to strangle the prat downstairs and take a fire extinguisher to his speakers!"

"And what would that solve?" Remus asked in a rather condescending voice. "I mean, really. Just relax and get healthy. You're only irritable because you're sick. It wouldn't bother you as much if you weren't so sick."

He set his books aside and got up to make tea, despite Sirius' protest. He knew that if he made it, Sirius would drink it. And be all that much more healthier for it.

"The fuck it wouldn't! Are you telling me you are immune to the crap coming up the stairs? Surely I'm not the only person who finds that bollocks annoying. It's like... like... wailing cats! Who are having their nails dragged across a chalkboard! While someone in the background tries to play the drums! Argh!"

For the fifth time in the last half-hour, the volume increased on the music down the stairs. "The prick is doing it on purpose," Sirius mumbled and rolled over in his bed, tangling himself amid the blankets.

"Oh, honestly. Will you relax? I think you're imagining it, it isn't getting that much louder," Remus said, setting the electric kettle down and walking to stand over Sirius. Just then, the volume spiked as the vocals screeched into a painful sounding wail. Remus couldn't help but wince and mutter, "How does he stand it?"

"It's horrible!" Sirius wailed again, wrapping a pillow around his ears. He rolled into the fetal position and muttered curses under his breath in which the word's 'grease' and 'power cord' were distinguishable.

Remus frowned down at Sirius, snuggled into his blankets and surrounded by used tissues. His empty teacup sat on the bedside table, a thermometer right next to it. Remus felt an odd, warm sort of sensation in his stomach, as though he'd just had a hot bowl of soup or some porridge. He smiled at the whining, germy mass whose head was still hidden under the pillow and resisted the urge to touch his shoulder.

"There's nothing to be done, Sirius. Just try to ignore it," Remus insisted, his voice carrying that falsely gentle tone adults often use when speaking to young children on the brink of very loud and childish temper tantrums.

"Yes mum," Sirius replied with irritation, rolling over on his back, the discarding of his pillow met with yet _another_ volume increase.

Sirius roared with agitation and pulled himself out of bed, stumbling to the door in his boxers, red nosed and sniffing. "That's it!" He said, turning the knob. "That wanker is getting a swift kick in a very unpleasant place!" He threw open the door and headed toward the stairwell.

"Sirius, you haven't got any trousers on!" Remus called after him, grabbing the nearest pair and following his friend into the hall and then down the stairs. He caught up with him just as he raised a fist and pounded on the door to the room right below theirs. He looked wild, partially because his hair was all over the place, and very, very angry.

"Here, trousers," Remus hissed, but it was too late. The door opened, blasting the two of them with the music they had been trying to escape for hours.

A slimy looking bloke with a sallow face and a hooked nose peered at them through eyeliner-laden eyes. His hair was a mass of black, three-inch spikes. "What?" He asked, over the sound of the music, looking between the ferocious and nearly naked Sirius, and Remus. Who was holding Sirius' pants.

"Who the fuck d'you think you are?!" Sirius yelled, though over the music it was almost a whisper.

"What?" The spiky-haired boy turned his ear toward Sirius, but grinned slyly.

Sirius felt his brain explode. "NARUGHF!" He yelled, and pushed the other boy aside. He headed straight for the speakers, which came up to his waist, lifted his leg and kicked them down.

"Oh no, Sirius," Remus said as the music quite abruptly stopped. He knew this would not go over well.

"What the bloody hell do you think you're doing? You just broke my bloody speakers, you bloody bastard!" the boy screeched, moving towards Sirius, hands clenched in fists.

"Oh bother," Remus said, following him into the room and putting a hand on the boy's shoulder. "Hello. I'm Remus Lupin. I'm sorry about this, it's just my friend Sirius here is very sick right now and he has been trying to get some rest and such and your music has been awfully loud, I hope you can forgive him for..."

"Who said you could come into my room?" the boy demanded, glaring hard at Remus through kohl-smeared eyes. "Get out, get out both of you! And no, I don't forgive him for breaking my bloody speakers!"

Sirius turned around slowly, fists clenched, and sniffed very deeply. "All right Bowie, or whoever the hell you're supposed to be, let's get this straight, shall we? You don't ever play that crap you call music at highest volume ever again, and I don't beat your face off. Sound fair? Lovely." Sirius grabbed Remus arm and began tugging him toward the door.

"I'll play whatever the hell I want to play," he sneered in response, "and you and your _boyfriend_ can't stop me. Bastards."

Remus had almost tripped as Sirius had tugged him towards the door. Now, though, he almost tripped because Sirius stopped so quickly.

"Sirius, please. Don't start problems. It's not worth it," Remus said, hoping to avoid bloodshed. "The music is off for a while, right? So let's just go. You've already done enough damage."

"Who," Sirius started slowly, licking his lips, "the fuck are you exactly?" He didn't turn around, but his grip around Remus' arm tightened considerably.

"Severus Snape," the boy replied, crossing his arms. His wrists were adorned with studded metal bracelets, and there was a nautical star tattooed on his left arm. "And I'll be sure to report these damages to the Headmaster. He'll send a lovely bill to your parents I bet."

"Right," Sirius replied, and let go of Remus. He hurled himself at Severus, who squealed as Sirius punched him repeatedly in the face.

Remus watched it happen as though it were slow motion. His instincts kicked just as Severus Snape's face twisted to the side at the first punch and Remus jumped forward, getting halfway in between them after only two or three more swings.

"Sirius, stop!" he shouted. He struggled to forcibly restrain Sirius, grabbing his wrist with one hand and wrapping the other around Sirius, pushing them both towards the door.

"Arrogant little berk! Everyone in the bloody building doesn't want to hear songs about slicing throats floating about the stairs! There is volume control for a reason! Remus, get the fuck off of me! Maybe if I bloody him up enough one of his bands'll write a song about him!"

"What, is your boyfriend too tough for you to get by? He looks pretty girly to me. Maybe I should start calling him your girlfriend," Snape sneered.

Remus hesitated for a moment, only a moment, before continuing in his attempts to get Sirius out of the room. "Don't rise, Sirius, he's just baiting you. Us," Remus whispered into Sirius' ear. "Let's just go. Come _on_. As it is you'll probably get detention for the rest of the year. Come _on_."

Sirius had reached a point beyond words. He was staring at Severus with the utmost hate and revulsion. "I hope your broken speakers catch your room on fire," Sirius spat, before literally hacking back and shooting a large, green, mucus-y lump onto Severus' face. "A present for my prickly haired sweetie," Sirius said with a grin and relaxed, leaving the room without being pushed.

Severus wiped gingerly at his face, his hand coming away shiny and with strings of saliva dripping off his fingers. "Disgusting," he said, his voice low, and Remus thought for one horrified moment that he might actually throw up. It seemed, though, that his anger quelled his nausea and he turned wild eyes on Remus.

It was then that Remus realized he had been left alone in the room with the boy Sirius had just spit on. He turned around awkwardly. "Severus, was it? Well, it was a pleasure meeting you. You, ah, might want to disinfect as soon as possible. He's still contagious, you know. Head cold, very unpleasant. Cheers then," he said and ran after Sirius.

Sirius' trousers were forgotten in Remus' haste, left wherever they'd fallen when Remus had tried to stop Sirius from killing the boy. Remus decided rather savagely that Sirius deserved it and if he wanted them back, he'd have to go retrieve them later and apologize.

Sirius was now skipping up the stairs, coughing on each alternate one. He was one deep cough from spewing out a lung, but he was not perturbed. He had destroyed speakers and spit on a boy with ugly hair. "Remmie!" Sirius exclaimed throatily when his mate finally caught up with him. "Wasn't that a lovely visit?" He sniffed. "I'd like some tea now, if the offer is still out there. Eh?"

Remus glared at Sirius, shocked at his complete and utter lack of concern. "You just damaged his property, physically assaulted him, and spit your germs all over his face. And now you want tea? I don't care if you've just over exerted yourself and given the sickness the opportunity it needed to turn into pneumonia. You are probably the worst person I've ever met," Remus ranted. Just then, Sirius burst into another round of coughing. It sounded terrible and he made the most disgusting puppy eyes every time it stopped enough for him to take a breath. Remus sighed.

"Fine. Fine, I'll make you tea. And I didn't mean it. You aren't the worst person I've ever met. What would you do without me, Sirius? Come on, let's get you back to bed, you're practically naked, you know."

Sirius grinned and coughed again. He managed to clear his throat enough to say, "he called you my _girlfriend_ Remus. Surely you wanted to shove his decorative bracelets up his large, ugly nose. At the least."

Remus would not be distracted. "Bed. Now. James would kill me if he knew I let you go gallivanting around school in your underwear while you're sick like this. Back in bed, I say," Remus ordered. "And anyway, he was just trying to be a prat, really. I mean, I agree now that he's awful, but violence is never the solution. Make love not war, Sirius."

Sirius stumbled into his room and flopped onto the bed.

"Mmm, sex," he agreed as Remus began to prepare the tea. "Not with Snape though. He's rank."


	8. Stupid Cupid (February 14th, 2003)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where James tries so hard to impress, Lily tries so hard to ignore, and the both of them ought to be smacked for being so ridiculous, for they'll never tell anyone about this nor speak of it afterward. **RIDICULOUS**.

The alarm clock bleeped and Lily blinked blearily into the early morning light that was drifting in through the window. She moaned. She wasn't, for one thing, a morning person. For another, if her mind was even slightly coherent at this hour, it was _Valentine's Day_ , and that meant that James would be pestering the beejebus out of her from the moment she stepped outside of her room until the moment she crawled under the covers again that night. Could she get away with faking sick again? Probably not. Alice would be too wrapped up in _Frank_ to bother with her today.

"Ugh," she said, pulling herself into a sitting position. Alice was already dressing, bouncing around the room and humming to herself. Noticing Lily was up, she smiled.

" _Happy Valentine's Day_!" she said. "Excited? I'm excited. Frankie has already slipped a box of chocolates under the door!" Alice pointed at the bed where a red, heart-shaped box was sitting with a big pink bow on it.

"Did he now?" said Lily, bemused. "What's the bet that Potter gives me one three times as big?"

"I'd put money on it," Alice answered. "He and Sirius share a flare for dramatics that just can't be contained."

Lily groaned again. What a stupid excuse for James Potter to be an even bigger prat than usual.

***

James was awake before his alarm even went off. As soon as the noise sounded, he slapped a palm down on the little machine, silencing it quickly and vaulting out of bed.

It was Valentine's Day. The day of all things romantic, lovie, _and_ dovie. If there was any day in the world for someone to realize they loved someone, James thought it would be today, February 14th. Today was the day.

Today was the day he would finally convince Lily to give him a chance. He'd throw his pride--or what was left of it, anyway--to the wind and lavish all sorts of gifts on her and proclaim his undying love, and she'd finally smile and... something. Anything. He'd been mooning for _months_ , right steady since the first day of orientation when he'd seen her. He couldn't take it any more, not if she didn't at least give him one little hint that she might one day like him. James was realistic. He wasn't expecting miracles. He just wanted a sign--any sign, even a tiny little sign--that he should keep on keeping on, as it were. He needed something to give him hope that his quest to win Lily's heart wasn't in vain.

And today would be the day. Valentine's Day. If not, James would have to re-evaluate _everything_.

"Siri, mate, get your arse up. We have preparations to finalize!"

***

Lily seated herself warily. It could happen at any minute, pouncing at her like a hungry tiger. Because that's what James was when it came to her. But not only a hungry tiger, oh no! A hungry tiger on steroids with a serious misunderstanding on the word 'no.' Then again, Lily supposed, tigers had no need for the word no, what with their having teeth sharp enough to do whatever they damn well pleased.

She had a fleeting image of James gnawing on her thigh, and winced involuntarily.

"Lily!" James hollered as soon as he entered the cafeteria. "Do not eat breakfast! I have something for you, my sweet, sweet, sweetheart."

Jogging over to her, James pulled out the biggest, most elaborately wrapped box of chocolates he could find. He'd custom picked every single chocolate in that box, _both_ layers. They were the good sort. Nay, the best sort. He was sure she'd love them. What girl didn't love good chocolate? Or, rather, what _even partially human human being_ didn't love good chocolate?

"Happy Valentine's Day, Evans," James said and presented the gift to her. "Open it. Go on."

Lily cringed as she took it, trying her damnedest to smile just a little bit. He was just so hopeful, like a puppy! It was sad in a way. "Uh, why, thank you, James," she said, and then, despite her own common sense, took the top off the box.

James grinned as the brightly coloured worms exploded from the box, the releasing of their springs sending them flying up into Lily's face. Well, okay. _Most_ of it was the best sort of chocolate, and some of it was the leftovers of a can-of-worms James had bought ages ago and spent ages painstakingly setting up in her box of chocolates.

Mouth agape, shocked, Lily slowly lifted her eyes from the box in her hands to look right at James with a look of pure disgust. "What. The. _Hell_ , Potter."

"Did it surprise you? It was supposed to," James said excitedly, sitting down next to her. "I mean, I wanted it to stand out. In case any other blokes got you chocolates too." James didn't want to be forgettable, especially not to Lily.

Lily was quiet for a second, grinding her teeth, trying to tell herself that James was a complete idiot, and not being absolutely adorable at right this very second, doing that excited puppy thing again. " _Potter_ ," she said finally, after taking a deep breath, "You. I mean. Who does that? Why would I be your 'valentine' when you've just had crepe paper snakes attack my face?"

"Why wouldn't you?" James asked, still grinning at her. "I'm handsome, charismatic, popular, funny, and I obviously worship you. I mean, what's not to love, right? So will you? Be my Valentine?"

Lily raised her eyebrows. "Well, no."

Looking quite put out and only marginally surprised, James asked, "Well, why not then?"

"Because you're vain and ridiculous and I don't like you that way, James. We've been over this a million and one times."

Squaring his shoulders with determination (because it was a lot easier to tell himself he'd win her over one day than it was to think she wasn't actually in denial and she really just did _not_ like him), James forced a smile and said, "I'm not ridiculous. I'm wonderful. And I'm not giving up yet."

Lily rolled her eyes. "I can't say I expected you to."

"Have a _wonderful_ day, my love!" James crowed and got up, moving to sit with his friends. He bet the flowers would get her.

***

Lily was not paying attention, but it had nothing to do with James Potter and his absolutely ridiculous idea of what it meant to give out valentines. Physics was just dead- _boring_ , and stupid and she was beginning to wonder why the hell she'd even bothered to take it in the first place. She was off in a daze and doodling little hearts on the corner of her page, mentally reminding herself not to write 'JP' inside of them.

It was about ten minutes into physics by the time James had the flowers perfect. He knew McGoogles had probably noticed his absence--that woman noticed _everything_ , and it utterly impressed James--but he wanted to make an entrance, so it really didn't matter.

Taking a deep breath, he pushed the door open with a flourish and made straight for her desk.

There was only one lily (he thought a whole bouquet of them would've been totally unoriginal), and it was huge and beautiful. It was surrounded by all sorts of cool, bright flowers like orchids and snapdragons and tulips of all colours. James had handpicked the flowers just like he had the chocolates, which certainly accounted for the lack of matching, but there were no tricks in it this time. (He'd been debating putting bugs in it, but thought he ought not wreck them.)

"Can I have everyone's attention please?" James said loudly.

"Mr. Potter, you are interrupting my class. Take your seat and get out your books," Professor McGonagall said with a sigh. It was merely a formality. She knew the boy well enough to know he wouldn't sit until he was finished.

"This will just take a second, Professor," James assured her before turning back to face Lily, bowing a little. "These are for you, Lily. Be my valentine this time?"

The flowers were _exquisite_. So beautiful, in fact, that she couldn't contain an audible gasp. And just that one lily, like saying she was the only one... _Oh_. They were so beautiful. She was speechless. She didn't know how to respond. Would it really hurt to be his 'valentine'? Just for today? Just for these flowers? Just for this one, _wonderful_ gesture?

"Earth to Evans! Will you?" James said after she was quiet for a moment. He looked down to where her hand was still on the bouquet, and right next to it was a red envelope with her name printed on. Someone else had given her a valentine. Maybe that's why she wouldn't say yes, because she'd already said yes to someone else. "Who's that from?"

Lily snapped out of her trance and glanced at the envelope. "Oh! Severus, actually."

"Snape? Greasy, snivelling, emo freak Snape gave _you_ a valentine?" James snorted. "He really must be delusional if he thinks he's got any sort of chance with you."

Lily frowned. "Oh, you mean like you?"

"I... what?" James asked, sounding a little desperate. Her tone hit him sort of like a brick to the stomach, and he found himself back pedaling quickly. He was pretty sure she'd been about to say yes until he'd gone and fucked it up. She liked the flowers, he could tell. Remind her about the good things, James, quickly! "Don't you like the flowers?"

They're beautiful, James, unlike your personality."

"Hey!" James protested. "I have a great personality."

"Mr. Potter, take your seat," Professor McGonagall said again. All of the teachers knew how it was. James pestered Lily until he crossed one of many, many lines the boy was too blind to see, and she bluntly put him in his place. They'd all seen it. The worst part was, if James had any clue what he was doing wrong, he'd probably fix it in an instant, but the daft boy _just did not get it_. He was so bright, until it came to Lily. Then he couldn't see past her pretty green eyes. Minerva decided to help by adding, "And don't speak about Mr. Snape, or anyone, in that manner again or it'll be detention with me."

"Just one more minute," James said dismissively, still focussed on Lily. "You could give me a chance, you know. I think you'll like me if you do. I didn't mean that about Snape. Or, well, I did, but the point is, I'm sorry. To you, not him."

Lily sighed. "You really are a complete idiot, aren't you? Honestly, James. I don't doubt that you're a nice boy. I don't doubt that I'd like you if you'd pull your head out of your arse. But it's wedged pretty far up there, and the chances of you getting a grasp on your common sense by the time I die is slim to none!"

A few brave souls laughed, and James--jaw clenched and ego bruised--raised his eyebrows at them in a challenge. They quieted, because even if James had been humiliated by Lily _again_ , he was still James Potter of James and Sirius of the Marauders.

"James, sit _down_ ," Professor McGonagall said again, her sharp voice giving away no hint of softer feelings, though her use of a James' first name was unusual. The boy always pushed and pushed and then ended up looking as though Lily had scratched out his heart with her fingernails just because the girl pushed back. If he'd stop being so obtuse and she'd stop being so dead set against it, they might make the perfect couple. Not that Minerva would ever admit to musing on the love lives of her students.

James paused a moment, tilting his head in Professor McGonagall's direction. "All right, McGoogles, I'll sit. But I'm _still_ not giving up."

It was his last day. He was going to give it his all and he could lick his wounds later if he had to.

***

Lily was completely exhausted. Her head was pounding, and truth be told, she just wanted to go back to bed. To be done with the day. It was all just too taxing for her to handle.

Stopping at her locker she rested her head against the cold metal for a moment, breathing deeply. She just didn't know what to do anymore. Why wouldn't he just take the hint and leave her alone? Lifting her head up again she twisted in her combination, and then opened the locker door.

Sitting on the shelf was a cute, plush brown teddy bear, holding a heart. A post-it was stuck to the heart that said 'Squeeze me' in James' handwriting, and Lily shook her head, smiling slightly and reaching forward, taking the thing in her hands and squeezing.

"Sleep with me, Lily!" it said, in James' voice. Lily snorted.

"I'd like to be squeezed between your breasts! Please!" It said when she squeezed again.

"Yum, yum, sweet pickles!" At this, Lily burst out laughing, unable to control herself. Sometimes, she thought, clutching her sides, sometimes James managed to do things right. Or, at the very least, entertain her.

She laughed! She was smiling and laughing and she liked it!

Stepping out from the classroom he was conveniently hiding in to watch her, James sauntered up, hands in his pockets. He leaned casually against the locker next to her and grinned his best, most appealing lopsided grin at her.

"So? Be my valentine, Lily? Please?"

Lily looked up at James, smiling coyly. "It's very nice, James," she said quietly, and squeezed the bear again.

"I like you more than cake!" it told her.

"It also tells you what a great arse you've got," James said, leaning closer.

Lily smiled and squeezed. "You're absolutely stunning and completely amazing," said the bear.

"Or, well, that includes your arse, anyway," James said, smiling hopefully. Lily looked happy; impressed, even.

Just when James thought he'd done it, won her over or something, there was Snape, skulking up the hallway and watching Lily. James only noticed him because he cracked his knuckles as the bear spoke it's final phrase, and when James looked towards the sound, Snape gave him a nasty glare.

Responding by surreptitiously flipping him off, James turned his attention back to Lily, a much, _much_ worthier subject. "So, what do you think?"

Unfortunately for James, he hadn't hid his action well enough and she'd seen him. She hadn't seen Snape's initial glare, of course, but she saw James being his usual, prattish self, and frowned, shoving the bear into his arms.

" _Honestly_ ," was all she could manage (for she rather felt like crying, even if she wasn't sure why) before she slammed her locker door and turned on her heel, marching away.

"I--hey! Lily, come _on_!" James called after her.

She didn't stop.

He only had one more shot, and he was starting to lose hope.

***

James watched Lily with her friends and thought that maybe, he shouldn't bother after all. There were so many people around, and James hated losing his cool in front of the masses. Lily was the only one who ever did it to him, too. Usually he could just blow it off with a laugh, but not with her. He didn't know _why_. But he did know that _that_ was the reason he had to at least try once more. One last time.

Getting up, he walked to her table and squeezed himself onto the bench next to her. Alice obligingly slid closer to Frank to make room for him, and he smiled at her in thanks.

"Hey Lily," he said gently.

Lily licked her lips. "Hello, Potter," she said tersely.

"Okay, well. It's obvious you haven't yet forgiven me for whatever I've done this time," James said, fiddling a little with the envelope before setting it down on the table and pushing it towards her. "So I'll just give you that then. Open it?"

Lily didn't speak but took the envelope in her hands, opening it and pulling out the card. It was sweet and simple, with a little black-haired boy in glasses kissing a red-headed little girl in a pink dress. Lily opened the card, smiling now, and a butterfly flew out. For a moment Lily thought it was real, but as it fluttered about her head she realized it was made of paper, and smiled at James before reading the text inside:

_You do that to my stomach. Love, JP._

Lily felt her heart melt. _Oh, God._

James didn't want to ask this time. He'd asked her a hundred times that day already, it felt like, and he'd signed the card with 'love'. _Love_. He felt like he was about to explode. His foot was twitching and his hand ached to reach up and ruffle his hair, but instead he tried to sit still and wait, watching Lily for a reaction all the while.

Lily took a deep breath. "Okay," she said simply.

"What?" James asked automatically. "You... okay? You will? You'll be my valentine? What does that mean?"

He could hear Alice giggling at his reaction, and he knew all of Lily's friends were watching him, but he didn't care. They didn't even _exist_. She had said _yes_. Or, well, she'd said _okay_ , but that was practically the same thing, and what _was_ a valentine anyway? What had she agreed to? Did she know? James didn't. Maybe it was like girlfriend. Maybe he could convince her to be his girlfriend. A stupid grin worked its way onto his face at the thought.

"It means that I'll spend the next," Lily paused, looking at her watch, " _five_ hours with you."

"Okay," James said, nodding. "Well, let's not waste any time then. What do you want to do? Can I kiss you?"

Lily's stomach flip-flopped. "On the cheek," she said, her voice involuntarily a little husky.

After leaning in and pressing a kiss to her cheek, James asked mischievously, "If I'm really good, can I give you a proper good night kiss at the end of my five hours?"

Lily smiled coyly and chuckled. "You've got some impressing to do, if that's your goal."

"I'd best get started then," James said and took her hand, scrambling off the bench and tugging. "Come on. If we hurry, we can lock Sirius out and have my room all to ourselves. Not that I expect you to put out or anything. Just, you know, so we don't have Sirius hanging around. I can't very well impress you when I'm being an idiot with my mates now, can I?"

Lily glanced at her supper and then up at James. "Can I finish my Sheppard's pie first?"

James smiled sheepishly and finally gave in to the urge to ruffle his hair. "Well, yeah. I guess. I'm just excited. Aren't you excited? You get to spend a whole five hours of quality time with _me_!"

"Thrilled," Lily said, pretending to be sarcastic, but instead rather honest. She picked up her fork.

James waited as she took a few bites, fidgeting impatiently, and said, "I have all sorts of snack food hidden away in my room. Munchie food, you know? And weed, come to think of it. And movies. And... I could get my hands on whatever else you wanted."

Lily laughed, spraying a bit of meat on the table. Wiping her mouth and blushing, Lily said, "Awfully eager, aren't you?"

"Fuck yes!" James admitted loudly, laughing. She was perfect, even when she spat food onto a table while laughing at him.

"Fine," she answered, laying her fork down and again and standing up. "You better have cold drinks."

"Sirius and I bought a bar fridge just last weekend and smuggled it in," James told her proudly, draping an arm around her shoulders. "Fanta and coke and probably some other stuff too."

"Sounds good to me," Lily said agreeably.

Beaming, James led Lily from the cafeteria, not moving his arm from her shoulders. _I have my arm around Lily Evans and she is not punching me in the kidneys for it! All hail the great James Potter charm_!

"So, seriously. What do you want to do?" James asked, rambling as they walked towards his room. "Remus is some sort of computer whiz and he taught us how to download movies despite all the stupid restrictions they have here, so I've got all sorts of things. Or we could just talk. Or make out, if you wanted. Just saying, the option is there. If not, hey, that's fine. I'm not going to push my luck."

Lily couldn't help but laugh, her smile broadening. He was something else, that was certain, but for once she didn't feel like smacking him upside the head for it. "A movie is fine. It's up to you, really."

"You're not even going to help me?" James asked, poking her teasingly in the side. "Come on, now. This is really important. I want to make sure you have fun. How about just a hint? Any hint. Even a little, tiny hint."

Lily chewed on her lip, considering. "Um... nah. You're on your own, Potter."

"The things I do for you, Evans," James joked and pulled out his keys, letting them both into the room. He locked it behind him and tossed the keys on the dresser. He looked around at the mess and shrugged. "Okay, I'm not going to claim to be a neat freak or anything, but honestly most of the shit you see laying all over the place _is_ Sirius'. But make yourself at home anyway, and if there's something in your way, just kick it onto the floor. That's what we do."

"I can see that," Lily said, gingerly nudging a pair of underwear off of her path.

James grinned unrepentantly and clicked into his movies folder on his computer. "Okay, so, we've got 40 Days and 40 Nights, Gone in Sixty Seconds, Ocean's Eleven, The Mothman Prophecies, Tomb Raider, The Virgin Suicides, don't ask me _why_ , I suspect Rem likes it, Spiderman, Donnie Darko, and a couple others, I guess. Anything peak your fancy?"

"I haven't seen Donnie Darko yet," Lily answered. "And I watched The Virgin Suicides with Remus," she added, grinning.

"Really? When?" James asked, more curious than jealous. He didn't think Remus would ever try anything with Lily, not after hearing the way James rambled on about her. Still, the fact that they were friends got to James a little, as he hadn't yet been able to manage the same. Though that might change now.

As he waited for her to answer, he double clicked Donnie Darko, set up the computer, turned up the volume, turned _off_ the lights, and headed for the mini-fridge to get them drinks and snacks. He thought there might even be some crisps around somewhere.

"Last weekend," Lily replied. "We do a movie night every week or so."

"Do you," James replied. "Well, makes sense. You two are friends, and Remus is quite a movie buff. Not like we watch movies like the Virgin Suicides with him. Though I heard it was rather good. Coke, Fanta, or Sprite?"

"Fanta, please," Lily said, holding out her hand.

James tossed her a bottle and grabbed the bag of crisps from where it was wedged between the fridge and a pair of shoes. "I hope you like salt and vinegar? If not, there are probably some lime Doritos in Sirius' sock drawer. Are you hungry?"

"I'd rather not eat anything that's been in the same vicinity of Sirius' socks," Lily said, cringing, and then undoing the cap on her drink. "And I'm fine, James, really. Do sit down."

"Okay," James agreed quickly, grabbing his own bottle of Sprite (he almost went for the coke, but figured he had enough energy without caffeine added into the mix). He climbed onto the bed and patted the spot next to him. The movie was just beginning.

Lily slid over, settling herself comfortably next to James. She watched him out of the corner of her eye, and bit her lip, smiling. Maybe... maybe there was something worthwhile in James Potter after all. Maybe there was something _wonderful_ underneath his idiot savant exterior. Maybe... she licked her lips and shifted so her kilt rode up slightly, exposing her inner-thigh.

James, to be honest, may have been facing the computer screen, but every single atom of his being was focussed on Lily. So of course, when her skirt slid up, he noticed. He definitely, definitely noticed, and he tried very hard not to show it. Nonetheless, his eyes kept flicking to that little area of extra skin he normally wouldn't ever be able to see.

Just to make sure his hand wouldn't make any inappropriate, involuntary movements, he grabbed her hand and laced their fingers together and tried not to think about what her knickers looked like and how he'd be able to see them if she just shifted like that a few more times.

Lily almost giggled. _Almost_. Instead she said, "Kind of warm," and laid down her drink. She used her free hand to undo a few of her blouse buttons, the curve of her breasts rising with each heavy breath. Her orange bra (hidden by a gray undershirt) _just_ peeked out.

James firmly told his body to continue pumping blood to his brain, thank you very much, and squeezed her hand. She had to be doing that on purpose. Maybe she was testing him, to see if he'd try to jump her or something.

Well, he wouldn't. James was stronger than that, and he actually _liked_ her, damn it! He could be good.

"We could just get naked and if that ends up being an over-compensation, we could huddle together for body heat," James suggested. Okay, well, that _was_ James' version of being good.

Lily laughed lightly. She could see him wriggling. She bit her lip and shifted her legs again, her skirt riding even farther up her legs. She kicked off her shoes and stretched her legs. She ran a thumb over the hand holding hers.

She was killing him. She was killing him dead. She had to know what she was doing, but what did she want him to do? Did she want to test him? Did she want him to kiss her? Did she actually like him back? James, for all of his usual unstoppable acting-before-thinking, had no idea what to do. He swallowed hard and turned to face her. He'd seen Donnie Darko a hundred times anyway.

"Are you, uh," he started, but stopped himself. There was no way to ask without sounding like an arse if he was wrong. Instead, he just said, "You're beautiful, you know that?"

Lily smiled and blushed. "You're too sweet," she said, playing with the hem of her skirt, leaning into him so he had a bird's eye view of her cleavage.

"You're also driving me crazy," he said, sounding strangled. He actually closed his eyes. He'd always sort of thought it was rude to look down a bird's shirt, even if it was right there. Even if he wanted to so badly he thought he might explode. It was _Lily Evans_ , after all.

Lily's heart was beating hard in her chest, and she took a deep breath. She took his other hand and moved it to her chest, resting it on one of her tits. " _James_ ," she said softly.

"Oh _God_ ," James moaned. He opened his eyes and looked at her, and then down at his hand on her chest. He could feel her heart beating, and it was almost as fast as his. "Let me guess. I actually did try this, but you hit me so hard I'm now unconscious on the floor and this is a concussion induced dream, right?"

"No," Lily said. "I might not have been honest you know, James," she told him, sliding his hand down the length of her curves. She moved his down her legs as far as she could reach, and then under her skirt, on her arse. "I might like you a bit more than I've been letting on."

James tentatively squeezed a little, and ran his thumb along the edge of her underwear. His hand was on her arse. His, James Potter's, hand was on her, Lily Evans', arse.

"Hallucinating," James said weakly. "Now I know I am. You've no idea how long I've wanted to hear those words. And to..."

Instead of saying it, he just squeezed her arse again. Oh _hell_ , his hand was on her arse.

Her face was so close to his. They were nose to nose. She licked her lips, batting her eyelashes at him. "You just have to make the right move, James," she said.

"Can... can I kiss you then?" he asked breathily. "Because I'd really, _really_ like to."

" _Yes_ ," Lily replied eagerly.

James wasted no time and quickly pressed a kiss to Lily's lips. James had never kissed anyone before and he dearly hoped his enthusiasm made up for his lack of experience.

Lily laughed against his lips, feeling giddy as he kissed her so enthusiastically. "Mmm," she murmured.

James certainly agreed with the 'mmm' sentiments, and quite thoroughly enjoyed the entire of Donnie Darko, though he didn't watch a minute of it.

The end credits found Lily and James cuddled comfortably on his bed, sharing the odd kiss here or there, but mostly just laying in each other's arms. James thought he might be in heaven. He could hardly believe it all, and he didn't ever want his five hours to be up.

"Hey Lily," James said suddenly, propping himself up on his elbow to look at her, his other hand resting casually on her stomach. "It isn't going to go back to how it was after it isn't Valentine's Day anymore, is it?"

Lily frowned. "I shouldn't say," she told him. "I can't see why it would."

Grinning, James answered, "Great. Well then, I think we should celebrate the occasion with a bit of premium weed."

Lily smiled wryly. "Sounds good to me. You'll light my joint for me, won't you? Like a good _boyfriend_?"

 _Boyfriend_? Wicked. "Yeah, yes. Of course. Anything for my amazing girlfriend. Who happens to be Lily Evans. Lily Evans is my girlfriend," James rambled happily as he climbed off the bed, reluctantly disentangling himself from Lily. He tugged open his and Sirius' drawer for hiding illegal substances in, but in his excitement, he pulled too hard and the whole thing came out, crashing to the floor and scattering the contents.

"Oops," James said sheepishly and began to pick it all back up.

"Hey," Lily said, looking at the mess as James began picking bits and pieces of it up. "What's that?" she asked, pointing to a particular bracelet.

"What?" James asked, and then spotted the bracelet.

Shit. _Fuck_. He'd forgotten about that. He and Sirius had stolen it from Snape two weeks ago because he'd gotten Sirius in trouble in January for spitting on him and damaging his speakers even though everyone knew they were fine. All you had to do was walk by Snape's room while he had music playing to hear how fine they were. Nonetheless, he had a feeling Lily wouldn't quite understand why retaliation had been so necessary. Anyway, he and Sirius had been intending to give it back. Eventually. Snape hadn't said anything about it, though, and without the reaction they'd been looking for, it had slipped James and Sirius' minds.

"Er, that's... nothing. Something we--" _found_. James sighed. Even if it would get him in trouble with her, he didn't want to lie, not to Lily. "It's something we stole. From Snape. He deserved it though. Just... long story. We're going to give it back. Don't be mad?"

Lily furrowed her eyebrows. "You stole the bracelet his birth mum gave him?" she asked, shocked. "He's been tearing his room apart for weeks looking for that!"

"He has?" James asked. "His what? His birth mum? He's adopted? Right, not the issue. Look, we just, we didn't know, okay? I'll give it back tomorrow. I'll give it back now, if you'd like. I'll even do it face to face so he knows who took it. I'm sorry."

"James, that's... that's such a horrid thing... you're all just so mean and _rude_ , and he's my _friend_ you know, and I just..." her eyes were welling up, and she looked at him angrily, climbing off the bed and to her feet. "You always have to go and fuck up a good thing by being James ruddy Potter, don't you?!" she yelled. " _Fuck you_!" She was doing up her shirt buttons in a hurry and tugging down her skirt. "If you breathe a word of this to anyone Potter, I'll, I'll just..." she stopped. She glared.

Then she left.

James tried to protest. He tried to argue his case. He couldn't get a word in edgewise, and she just looked so _angry_. There were even tears in her eyes, and _he'd_ done that. He felt like his throat was completely closed up and he was rooted to the floor as she walked out.

 _Go after her_! his brain screamed. But all he could do was stare. After a moment, he kicked that stupid drawer halfway across the room. He broke the damned thing, and probably his foot in the process, and then he collapsed onto his bed.

He was an idiot. He'd wrecked it again.

She did like him, though. She had to. She'd _said_ she did, and she'd let him kiss her. She'd kissed him back. He _knew_ she liked him, at least parts of him and when he wasn't being a prat, and he wasn't going to give up. He couldn't.

He was pretty sure he loved her, after all.


	9. Gimme Some Sugar (April 16th, 2003)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Sirius punches an idiot, James is best at Space Invaders, and Remus has no romping trousers.

"Rise and shine my sleepy monkeys!" Sirius' voice was shrill in his attempt to sound like his own mother (and such was accomplished with frightening accuracy), ringing through Remus and Peter's room as he flicked the lights on and off. James was beside him, grinning rather idiotically, both fingers doused in saliva. He strode with purpose to the sleeping forms of his mates - who now groaned with irritation, calling Sirius several rather inappropriate names, the dirty son of a bitch - and stuck a slimy finger in the ear of each.

"Nicely done," Sirius said with approval, abandoning the light switch to sit on Remus' stomach.

"Oof," Remus moaned, pushing at the warm body now atop him in an unsuccessful attempt to dislodge it and regain his ability to breathe. "What the hell. Sirius, get off of me, I'm trying to sleep."

"No sleeping today! We're going into town," James declared loudly from where he stood, periodically flicking Remus in the shoulder.

Remus had no idea how he'd somehow managed to somehow ingratiate himself ( _somehow_ ) to the school's two most singularly annoying boys. "It isn't a Salcombe weekend," Remus reminded them and pulled the pillow out from underneath his head to cover his face.

"It's not even a weekend!" Sirius added excitedly. "It is, however, a lovely day for romping amidst the daisies. So _come on_ Remus. I'll get off you if you promise to put on your romping trousers."

"It's... what? I don't even _own_ any _romping_ trousers," Remus grumbled. "Hang on. I'm not insane like you two. What _are_ romping trousers? Look, never mind. I'll wear them, just get _off_. I can't breathe."

"You're skipping class?" came a small voice from the other bed. Remus looked over to see Peter sitting up, hair messy and eyes sleepy but wide as he rubbed at an ear no doubt still slimy from James' disgusting wake up call.

"Are indeed," Sirius said, and kissed Remus sloppily on the forehead before climbing off of him and heading toward the wardrobe. "There'll be aimless wandering, the whistling of show tunes..." he paused, taking a moment to survey a brown pair of pants he had taken out of the closet. "We could even be pirates! We'll sail the seven seas in a boat made from the excess of corduroy's in Remus' closet!"

"I like pirates," Pete said, his voice so small it was more of a vaguely squeaky exhalation of air.

Remus calmly threw back the covers and walked up to Sirius, plucking the trousers from Sirius' hand, feeling more than a little self-conscious in nothing but a pair of boxers. "These are perfectly fine for romping in. And... Wait. I can't skip class, it's Monday. I have Chemistry today. Slughorn will notice, and I'm still not doing well in that class."

James snorted. "Most blokes, you see, would say, 'Slughorn will kill me' or something to that effect - 'Slughorn will slaughter me' if you want to use alliteration. But not our Remus. You know he won't, yet you're worried about him _noticing_? Come on, live a little," James ranted, waving his arms about fantastically.

"You two live enough to make up for me," Remus said, but it was with a sort of resigned tone. He knew he'd go.

"Bugger chemistry," Sirius said indifferently, pulling one of Remus' plaid shirts over his ratty _Pink Floyd_ t-shirt. "Do I look sexy?"

Remus' mouth twitched into a smile. "Oh, most certainly."

James laughed. "Sirius and Remus sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. First comes love, then comes - oof!" James sang, stopping abruptly when Sirius threw a shoe into his stomach.

"What are we doing in town, besides being pirates, whistling show tunes, and wandering aimlessly?" Remus asked idly, calmly ignoring his friends' antics.

Sirius removed the shirt, allowing it to fall unceremoniously to the floor, and then shrugged. "Eat? Dance? Party hearty? I haven't the foggiest."

"Wonderful. Your thorough planning amazes and astounds me. It sounds like it's just going to be _so_ much-" Remus started drolly.

"Can I come?" Peter interrupted, sounding rather desperate and awed. Remus shot a warning look at his friends. He'd been telling them for a while to be nice to Peter because he didn't have many friends, but more often than not they disregarded him.

Sirius and James exchanged bemused smiles as Peter looked between them both anxiously. Pete wasn't all bad; sometimes he was actually fun to have around, and while both Sirius and James almost hated to admit it, he was growing on them.

"I suppose," Sirius said apathetically.

Remus smiled warmly at his friends and then turned to face Peter. "Wonderful. You best get up and dressed then, these two aren't known for patience!"

At that, Remus bent to pick up the plaid shirt Sirius had discarded, a fresh set of underclothes and a towel before disappearing to the washroom to shower and change.

"Pip pip, Pete! Get going!" James said with a smile and sat back on Remus' bed to wait.

Peter scrambled about animatedly, practically bouncing. Sirius flopped down next to James, tucking his hands behind his head. When Peter tore toward the washroom as well, Sirius looked up at James and laughed. "A bit, er. Eager, that one." he said.

"Oh yes. Like a puppy," James agreed, nodding.

It was only a few moments before the two boys re-entered the room. Remus was walking calmly with his hands in his pockets, wet hair flopping in his face, and bemused smile lighting up his face. Peter bounced along next to him, face split in a wide, toothy grin. He looked downright twitchy.

"Shall we head down for breakfast?" Remus asked. "We're a bit early, but we might as well."

"Nah, we'll get something to eat in town," Sirius replied, getting off the bed. "No time to waste!"

Remus frowned for a moment, his eyes flitting nervously to the drawer of his bedside table that held his small black kit. He knew he should check. He knew he should eat. He knew all of this, but he also knew that insisting on either would spike the interest of his friends. He'd have to tell them, and he didn't want to. He could make it into town; he'd be able to make it into town.

"Right. Okay. Let's go then," he said, grabbing his wallet from his desk and a cardigan from the closet.

James rolled his eyes. "About as enthusiastic as my grandmum, that one," he said in a stage whisper to Sirius. "Pete on the other hand..."

Peter was still bouncing.

"A-are we walking then? Well obviously we're walking. Right? Walking?" Peter asked, blinking furiously.

"Well how else would we get there?" Sirius asked, quirking a perplexed eyebrow and swapping a mystified glance with James.

"Come on then, might as well hurry," Remus said quickly, wanting to get there and eat as soon as possible, just in case.

Without further ado, the four of them walked through the school, which was still quite empty at such an early hour, and went out the side door. They made their way to just left of the front gate, scaling the wall with assistance from a nearby tree and beginning the rather long walk into the small town of East Portlemouth. James and Peter led the way with Sirius and Remus following just a few paces behind.

Suddenly and with no substantial warning, Remus' head spun violently and he felt his knees give out.

Sirius jumped in alarm, automatically reaching to grab Remus. "What the?" he asked with confusion. "Remus, are you all right?"

The dizziness quickly passed and he managed to get his feet under him, taking a couple deep breaths and trying hard not to look worried. "Yeah, no, I'm fine. I just, I tripped. There was a rock. Thanks. I'm fine," he said under his breath, beginning to walk a bit faster. _Stupid, stupid, stupid. I need to eat_ , Remus thought furiously. "Come on, let's catch up."

"A rock? Well. Okay." Sirius said, still watching Remus carefully. He was very white and clammy looking. "Are you dehydrated or something?"

"Must be it," Remus said quickly. "I just need some food and water."

"Hurry up you two!" James called over his shoulder, grinning like a maniac. "The big city awaits!"

Sirius laughed. "You know what we could do? Go down by the pubs and listen to the old men talk about their lumbago and the one that got away. That would be a _thrill_!"

"Big city? East Portlemouth isn't a b-big city, is it? I mean, compared to most cities it's rather small. There's only one grocery store, isn't there?" Peter asked.

"They're being sarcastic, Pete," Remus said kindly.

"It's not even a city. It's the backwoods," Sirius said idly, occasionally glancing at Remus. Something, he felt, wasn't right.

Remus swallowed thickly but the inside of his mouth felt like cotton. He noticed Sirius looking and he pasted on a smile, rolling his eyes. He decided belatedly that rolling his eyes was not a good idea because it made his head spin a little. "I've never been camping. Isn't that ridiculous?" he said out of nowhere, the thought triggered by the word _backwoods_.

Peter was shocked. "Really? Even _I've_ been camping. Though it was in a big camper and not actually in tents."

"Jamie and I used to camp out in the backyard," Sirius mentioned, grinning at his mate, amused by the recollection. "We used to steal his mum's bed sheets and toss them over the clothesline for the tent. Then we'd whip out the extension cord and spend the evening blasting mutants."

James laughed too. "I totally flattened you every time we played Space Invaders, but I must admit you were nearly as good as me when it came to Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles."

Remus laughed hollowly along with them, feeling quite light-headed. His vision was starting to go spotty, like he'd been looking at the sun too long and he raised a hand to his face to rub at his eyes.

Sirius glanced back again, forehead creased with alarm. "Remus?"

"Yeah? What? I never played video games," Remus answered absently.

By now, his odd behaviour had caught James and Peter's attention as well. "What's going on?" James asked, his brow furrowing with confusion. Remus had stopped walking now and had lowered his head, pressing the heels of his hands into his eyes.

"Nothing, I'm fine," Remus said, and, in a valiant effort to prove his point, stood up straight and looked them in the eye. And promptly keeled over.

"Oh, fuck," Sirius said, and dove for him, managing to prevent Remus from smashing and destroying valuable body parts. "Remus? Remus?" His eyes were lolling, and Sirius turned to James and Peter, looking panicked. "What's wrong with him?"

Peter looked horrified and shook his head. "I don't know. He's n-never done that before, I don't know."

James, worried but strangely focussed, knelt down next to Sirius and Remus and shook Remus' shoulder, gently at first and then harder. "Remus? Hey, Remus! Wake up!"

Blinking back into consciousness, Remus looked confused for a second and then tried (and quite blatantly failed) to sit up on his own. "I didn't mean to fall asleep at the table again, I was reading," he mumbled.

"We're not at the table Remus," Sirius said, "what's going on?"

He blinked and looked up in to Sirius' face. "Sugar," he said softly, his eyes unfocussed. "I think I need a candy bar."

James shook his head. "I haven't a clue. He certainly doesn't seem to be all there. We'd better get him to the nurse back up the school," he said seriously.

"Maybe a cookie? Or some soda?" Remus tried again, smiling dopily. Just then, his head flopped to the side and fell hard onto Sirius' shoulder as he lost consciousness again.

"He looks dead. He isn't, he isn't dead. Right?" Peter squeaked, staying a considerable distance away from his roommate.

"He's not dead," Sirius said, and shifted Remus, whose upper body was positioned rather awkwardly in his arms. "I can't carry him myself, grab his feet James."

James knelt and picked Remus' legs up. Together, they hoisted him. He wasn't all that heavy, really, because he was quite thin and had a slight build, but it was all dead weight.

"Peter, run ahead and tell them what happened, all right? Go straight to the nurse," James ordered.

"But I'll get in trouble for skiving lessons!" Peter said quickly.

James shot him a sharp glare. "You'll get in more trouble from me if you honestly think that's more important than Remus right now. Now stop wasting time and go!"

Peter jumped and started running toward the school without looking back.

"Prat," Sirius said, irritated, and shifted Remus as he and James began walking toward the school. Remus' head was drooping and his face was practically transparent.

"James, mate," Sirius said, rather horrified, "Add blue lips and he's a corpse."

"He's still breathing, he'll be okay," James said quickly.

They made slow progress up to the school and, walking through the video monitored front gates this time, they entered through the front door and made their way up the hall. A girl came out of the loo just as they were passing and shrieked, jumping away from them. James shot her a dirty look as they turned the last corner and pushed open the door to the hospital wing, expending one last grunting effort to lay Remus down on the nearest bed.

Madam Pomfrey, the school nurse, bustled over immediately. "Stand back, stand back," she said, checking his eyes and then quickly pricking his finger, collecting the blood on a little paper stick and putting it into a handheld machine. "What has he eaten today?"

Sirius blinked and looked at James. "Er, nothing," he said.

"What? Oh really, he knows better," she tutted and fussed about him until the machine beeped. She checked the miniature screen and gasped. "And it's no wonder he fainted!"

James watched with grotesque fascination as she left quickly, returning with a needle and a small bottle. She stuck the needle into the bottle, filling the syringe to a certain level before pulling it out and flipping it upright, tapping it ominously.

"Now you boys pay attention to this part just in case this ever happens again. You can just use his kit and do it for him," she said. "You tap it to get the air bubbles to the top, now that's very important, and then squeeze it out until it's at the level it should be. He'll tell you what each reading means so you can figure out how much insulin he needs. This is glucose. His blood sugar has gone too low so he needs this right now, but usually it'll be insulin."

Sirius felt as though someone had just electrocuted him. "Insulin!? Remus has diabetes?" He looked at James, who looked just as shocked and a little disgusted at the same time. "Why wouldn't he tell us that?" Sirius asked him quietly.

James shrugged helplessly and then wrinkled his nose as the nurse lifted Remus' shirt, inserting the needle delicately into his side. It was just then that Peter came out of the infirmary washroom. He took one look at the proceedings and promptly turned green before dashing back into the loo. The nurse completely ignored this.

"Whatever the reason, it was very irresponsible of him. However, it is not my place to comment. You will be allowed to remain here until he wakes up. It's nearly break time anyway and he should come around in a few minutes. When he does, make sure he eats that and drinks _all_ of the juice," she said briskly, gesturing to the snack on the bedside table and gathering up her equipment before going into the back room, presumably to dispose of it properly.

James looked over at Sirius. Both boys were completely bewildered. "What the fuck," he said dully.

Sirius shook his head. "No sense does this make," he said, and rubbed the back of his neck, looking nervously from Remus (who was lying with his mouth gaping open) to the snack on the table, then back to James. "I mean, this is a big deal, right?"

James shrugged. "Well, it's something he should've told us about. Today proves that. But, well, it can be managed. I don't know much about it, to be honest," he answered, watching as Remus seemed to stir. He didn't look quite ready to wake up just yet, though. "What are you going to say to him?"

"I haven't decided between screaming or incredulous staring," Sirius replied, tilting his head slightly. "You?"

"Something along the lines of 'you bloody prat, nearly gave us all heart attacks'. You know, making us think he was insane and dying. The bit about the sugar makes more sense though."

Sirius nodded distractedly. "Yea." This was stupid. Remus had been stupid. Idiot. Scaring the bloody hell out of him. And James.

James and Sirius stood in silence for a moment. Peter finally came back out of the bathroom and collapsed into a chair on the other side of the bed. Just then, the bell rang and the sound of chatter filled the halls. James quickly went over and shut the door. He didn't want any snoopy kids coming in to peer about, at least not until they'd had a chance to talk to Remus. He turned around to see Remus blinking blearily.

"Morning, sunshine," James said dryly.

Sirius crossed his arms. "Well?"

Remus flushed and closed his eyes for a moment.

"No hiding, Remus. You nearly gave us all heart failure," James said. "Oh, and eat that," he added, nodding to the food on the bedside table. "Pomfrey's orders. She said you have to get your blood sugar up."

"So you know then," he said softly, reaching over and opening the juice box before biting into the jam sandwich. The combination of his friends' expectant looks and the juvenile snack products made Remus feel about four years old. "Sorry."

Sirius licked his bottom lip. "Sorry. Sorry? Remus, this is your life, mate, you know, not like... I don't know. Add some analogy that fits into the situation. _Why_ \- and this better be a damn good reason - didn't you tell us?"

James sat down, watching Remus' face intently, obviously ready to hear this too.

"I thought you were dead, Remus," Peter said, too loudly.

"Oh for - shut up, Pete," James snapped. Peter seemed to shrink into his chair, looking very small and timid indeed. James sighed and softened his voice a little, turning back to their bedridden friend. "Remus is about to explain to us why the bloody hell he didn't tell us and we had to find out by carrying him all the way uphill back to the school, wondering if he was dead or not. Rem? Spill."

Remus cleared his throat. "Well, I figured I was nerdy and bookish already, add that I'm _ill_ on top of it, and I haven't got a hope of making friends," he said dully and then tried to smile. "I thought you'd ditch me for someone not quite so high maintenance."

Sirius unfolded his arms, walked over to Remus and punched him hard in the arm. "You're an idiot," he said impatiently. "Do you really think we're so horrid that we'd... fucking God, _honestly_." He ran his hands through his hair. "You're an idiot," he repeated.

Remus winced and rubbed his arm. "I said sorry," he said pathetically. "And obviously I don't think you’re horrid. Which is why I didn't tell you, because I rather fancied staying friends with you." James was about to add in his two cents, but Remus kept right on talking. "Look, you two don't understand what it's like to _be_ self-conscious, do you? You're full of all sorts of confidence. Maybe my reasoning doesn't make sense to you, but it did to me."

Peter leaned forward and said in a stage whisper, "I get it. I'm allergic to the chemical they use to dry fruit. It gives me the runs."

"Ew, Pete," Sirius said, and scrunched up his nose.

"I don't think that's quite the same, Pete," James said neutrally.

Remus sipped at his juice, not looking any of them in the eye. "So you aren't going to ditch me then? I mean, if you are, just say so, so I don't have to wonder..."

"Did you not just hear me call you an idiot? Twice?" Sirius asked with disbelief. "I mean, it's not like you've got something contagious that's going to turn out our innards or something. You're still Remus."

"Well, I do have to take shots all the time," Remus said slowly, quite obviously trying not to look pleased at his friend's disbelief.

"Speaking of, you are going to show us how to work your little machine thing in case that ever happens again," James said. "We missed out on a perfectly good day in town thanks to you."

"Yes. Exactly. Nuisance." Sirius folded his arms again, trying to look bothered rather than relieved. "Finish your ruddy juice box."

Remus hid a smile by taking a large bite of his sandwich, swallowing it down with a gulp of juice and grinning at his friends. "You still got out of morning classes," he reminded them.

"Er, I'm n-not going to have to give him sh-shots ever, am I?" Peter spoke up nervously.

"You might, and you're going to learn. You're his bloody roommate Peter," Sirius said.

"But it's yucky," Peter squeaked.

"It's okay, I can do it myself," Remus said quickly. "Just so long as I eat regular meals I'll be fine."

"Pete can learn," James said firmly, glaring down at Peter. "If not, one of us who _aren't_ total _girls_ can switch rooms with him."

The idea of rooming with one of the impressive but most certainly terrifying boys, paired with James and Sirius' obvious disapproval, quickly changed Peter's mind. "No. I can learn. I can do it. I can."

"Good to hear," Sirius said.

Madam Pomfrey came ambling back into the room and clasped her hands together when she saw that Remus was awake. "Wonderful!" she said. "The bell is about to ring boys, so shoo. You can see Mister Lupin again _after_ classes."

James sighed and moved towards the door. "Goody, just in time for History with Malfoy," he said sullenly. "See you later, Remus."

Peter hopped to his feet and made his way to the door, looking back at Remus. "Hope your diabetes goes away, Remus. Bye!"

Madam Pomfrey gave Peter a hopeless sort of look, but he was out of the room before she could correct him.

"Yea," Sirius said. "I'll bring you a Twix or something." He nodded rather awkwardly, still looking a little worried. "Bye," he added, and left.

Madam Pomfrey sighed and turned her sharp eyes on Remus. "You make life much more difficult for yourself than it has to be, Mister Lupin. That was an incredibly stupid stunt, skipping breakfast and leaving the school with people who didn't know about your condition."

Remus shrugged and smiled. "I don't know, it turned out all right."

"Only because they acted quickly and you got lucky!"

Remus' smile morphed into a wide grin. "Yeah," he agreed. Lucky is right.


End file.
